Porcelain Manifesta

Beckett Laughlin - 16 Months

2012-01-27T13:34:00.001-05:00

Confessions of Lazy Evenings

2012-01-18T19:26:00.001-05:00

When I thought of my evenings as a family woman I pictured eating dinner as a family, giving my kids a bath, supervising as they brush and get into jammies. Then reading them a story, tucking them in with kisses and finally enjoying a glass of wine while Hillary and I read the book of the moment before going to bed.

And actually, it's not too far from that. A little messier than I envisioned, but it makes me happy.

But I have to admit I LOVE when B skips his afternoon nap and is so tired by 5 that we feed him early and he's down for the night by 6:45.

Those nights we make a grown up dinner and eat it on the couch in front of a movie.

Tonight it's red wine with pesto pasta and Super Troopers.

Love these nights, even if it's not quite what I always pictured.

Napping, Etc...

2012-01-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

There has been a sea change in our home. It happened little by little, but we noticed every extra minute. We. have. a baby. who. sleeps. ...Pause, for dramatic effect...

Seriously, though, Becks is taking at least one and very often 2 solid, 1 to 2 hour naps - EVERY day. People, come on! Get excited with me - I mean, we can actually accomplish things without going into his room ever 20 minutes because he woke up. It's pretty amazing.

And the cherry on top? I put him down at night around 7 like clock work and he sleeps until at least 10:00. I usually have to nurse him then, but he goes back down. I mean, do you know what you can do when there isn't a baby connected to you for over THREE hours? I feel like we've won the lottery. We can make dinner and eat it! Watch whole movies at a time. It's been 15 months!

On New Year's Eve we had a party and he slept until almost 12:45 - through a party! Even through the countdown and horns and screamed tidings to happiness for the coming year. We were not quiet. He slept. It was amazing.

Now our nights are a whole other story. But this is serious progress. Major motion forward. Toddler hood - I love it.

And yes, my answer to when will you have another has changed because of it. When it was hard, it was like - well might as well just add another little person into the mix and see what we get. But now I think we're going to enjoy this little taste of freedom and of having adult time again. At least for a little while.

More Local Louisville Shopping

2011-12-15T16:32:00.001-05:00

Ah, the first post of the year. It always gives such a fresh feel. I do want to back track though, because I'm proud to say I did pretty well at accomplishing my goal to shop locally this holiday season. I'm estimating about 80% of my gifts were bought from small businesses here in town.

In the last few years our lives have been filled with children and I sort of made an executive decision to just buy for the kids. They are the fun ones to shop for anyway, and I would be happy if my friends and family just bought for Beckett, so without really consulting anyone, that's mostly what we've done.

Why Louisville is such a great store for gifts and their t-shirts for kids are awesome! So I bought several of them for the chillen' in my life and in some cases used them as wrapping for the additional gifts we bought them.

Amazing Green Planet has an awesome toy section and we bought Plan Toys for some of our baby friends. One of my favorite gifts from AGP, which we gave to my niece, was the cookware and dining set by Green Toys made of recycled plastic bottles. Beckett got a used kitchen from his cousin, Danni, so I just may have to pick one up for him too.

We gave a lot of books this year, they are my favorite gift to give, and Carmichael's has a really amazing kid's section (the rest of their sections are equally amazing). We found all sorts of unique board books with awesome art and super cool pull tab and pop up books for the older kids. I had too much fun shopping there.

For Hillary I had several photos of Beckett matted and framed at Framers Supply. I was really pleased with how it came out. I highly recommend going there for all your professional framing needs. You know it's a good gift when your husband tears up on Christmas morning - score!

As for the other 20%, we had a photo book printed of Beckett's first year for the grandparents and one for us too. But that's another post altogether, because it's so awesome. We also ordered a Little Pim language set for B to start teaching him Spanish, while he learns English. Other than that, the package deliveries were pretty limited this year. And happily so.

Stopping Night Nursing - The Journey

2011-12-09T12:30:00.000-05:00

You can find out how nights 1, 2, and 3 went here and here.

Here is the long awaited update on our night weaning adventure. We made it through the 9 nights recommended by Dr. Jay Gordon's plan. But Becks never really progressed past the tossing and turning and frequent waking. He woke every half hour or so and basically just bitched at me for not letting him nurse. It wasn't a flat out sob, but just a prolonged and high pitched, grumpy whine, with lots of pushing up to a sitting position and then throwing himself, face first into the mattress.

I was fairly exhausted. Hillary still takes care of B during the day, as you may recall, so I let him sleep on the couch so he had the energy to chase after our little viking all day. By night 8 I was so tired that during a couple of his wake ups I totally forgot what our plan was and I think I just latched him on, or maybe that was a dream - it's kind of a blur.

What would have been night 10 was spent in Atlanta, the beginning of a 3 night stay with some of Hillary's family for Thanksgiving weekend. Well I wasn't going to let Becks keep the whole house up, so we reverted back to our old ways and I haven't tried weaning again since.

But I'm building up the mental strength to start it once again. I am going to draw out each stage a little longer this time. But we're traveling for Christmas too, so maybe I should just wait for the fresh start of a new year? On the other hand, it's really never a good time - there's always something.

And so it continues...

Holiday Comforts - In the Eye of the Beholder

2011-12-05T11:50:00.001-05:00

This post is sponsored by Tempur-Pedic, the brand millions of owners trust to deliver their best night’s sleep every night. Enjoy our Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer now and give the gift of custom comfort to someone you love.

The first thing that pops into my mind when I think of comfort during the holidays is a quiet evening, baby sound asleep, curled up on the couch with H, a nice warm mug of something - maybe hot tea, preferably something mulled - cider, wine - who cares? It's mulled. The house is dark, with only the white Christmas tree lights to see by and everything smells like cinnamon and warmth.

Ahem, okay, that was a lovely moment of creative visualization. Now back to your regularly scheduled reality. I swear we have every moment until New Years scheduled at this point. Comforts are found on the run these days -

A nice drive in the car when B has fallen asleep and H and I can have a quiet conversation about something unparenting related.
A holiday flavored bevvie from a local coffee shop - to go.
Listening to holiday tunes on Spotify while wrapping gifts.
Taking a time-out during our Christmas travel or shopping to stop for a sit down meal, being sure to tip a little extra for the mess that B will undoubtedly leave behind.
Taking a little extra time to pick out the perfect present - at a local retailer, of course.

If I really think about it though, what makes me feel the best and most at ease during the holidays is knowing I will be surrounded by my family. I know, weird right?

I have a large family and I am genuinely interested in what they are all up to. Especially my generation, of which I am at the beginning of. Many of them are getting married, having babies, starting interesting careers or studying cool things in school. I don't get to see them half as much as I'd like, so getting some solid catch up time during one of the many gatherings over Christmas is wonderful.

It makes me feel good me to think that by the time the holidays are over I will have a better handle on what my nearest and dearest have been up to since the last time I saw them. I really can't wait for that.

Comfort is the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday gift list, so be sure to take advantage of Tempur-Pedic's Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective

About Town - The Paper

2011-12-05T08:32:00.001-05:00

I really can't say enough about what an awesome publication The Paper is and how proud I am to be a part of it. All local, all postive stories to remind you that the world isn't actually in the shitter, which is the picture the main stream media paints. If you live in Louisville, or the surrounding areas, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. The locations you can get them are listed here.

And if you aren't in the distribution area, check us out online.

Here are some links to the stories I've had published in the last few months -

The Barons of Green - A local family runs an awesome green supply store in Westport Village.
A Growing Family - The story of a lovely little family who tend a beautiful farm.
Natural Baby Boom - A feature on natural parenting resources and support.

Our Owned Abode

2011-12-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

H and I bought a house! We are currently still in the process of making it a home, but all in good time. The really nice thing about our Fifties ranch is that we were able to move in without doing a single thing to it. Of course we have all sorts of things planned, but it's mostly cosmetic. The place was in solid shape.

I love so many things about it, but I'll just share a few - like the driveway - you don't get those in apartments. The yard is just lovely and we have 5 trees! We are deeply enjoying the dishwasher, something I've been without for years.

And I am ridiculously thrilled about this stacked closet of shelves behind the door in the master bedroom. I've always wanted to have my purses and scarves displayed so neatly.

This is my favorite tree, smack in the middle of the back yard. It's leaves were a shimmery yellow, almost chartreuse, just before we moved in and then the ground was that color and the tree was bare. Our first full weekend was spent raking, but I have to admit I mostly just took photos of B in the leaves while Hill raked.

Just behind the house is a creek with a group of ducks that seem to always hang out within a three house area. Beckett loves to watch them and yells "DOG" every time. Which, if you think about it, kind of sounds like duck, so I think he knows what he's talking about.

The Snyder Twins - Support a Family in Need

2011-11-30T12:22:00.001-05:00

A dear friend of mine lost her sister, Michal, last week due to complications following a c-section. She gave birth to gorgeous twins - Reverie and Jackson - who are healthy and doing well. My heart breaks for my friend, her family and the children and husband Michal left behind.

Michal's husband, Jay, will be needing a lot of support raising twins on his own. The family has set up a very well done website for anyone who would like to help Jay and his new babies. Please visit - www.thesnydertwins.com - for more information on how to donate.

Here are some words from the family:

Michal Lura Friedman lost her life on Friday, November 25 in New York City, due to complications from a c-section, shortly after delivering healthy twins, Jackson James and Reverie Vivian Snyder.

For those of you who never met her, Michal was a passionate, beautiful, talented woman who was thrilled to be pregnant with her first children. Many of you know "Michal the Girl" as a musician, but her greatest dream was to be a mother. For the past seven years, Michal and Jay had been using all of their resources to make this dream come true. Michal was widely loved and has left behind many friends, particularly in her Buddhist, musician and voice acting communities.

Many people have asked how they can help Michal's husband Jay and their children. This generosity is greatly appreciated and would provide tremendous relief. Although there will obviously be needs far into the future, we are trying to help with immediate expenses, which will add up so quickly with twins. Jay needs all the support he can get in order to provide the care that's needed for Jackson and Reverie.

To that end, a website has been set up where people can make donations: www.thesnydertwins.com

We so much appreciate all of your love and support.

Please help this wonderful family out if you can. Thank you!

Stopping Night Nursing - The Journey - Nights 2 & 3

2011-11-17T12:30:00.000-05:00

{This is what I stare at all night to see if we are making progress or not.}

You can find out how Night 1 went here.

Night 2

B woke up in his crib just a little after 10:00 p.m. and I was pretty tired, so I decided just to head to bed. This is a pretty typical evening for us. He fell asleep nursing and I fell asleep sometime in there too. He woke up for the first time around 12:45. I let him nurse for a minute, then unlatched expecting the sky-is-falling reaction I got the night before, but he only whined momentarily and went back to sleep with a few pats on the back. Lovely!

That continued to be the case for the rest of the night. The only problem was he woke up about every hour. I was able to nurse him briefly and then get him back down within 10 minutes or so. There was about 45 minutes in the 2:00 a.m. hour that contained a lot of flopping and crawling into me and the wall and pushing his face into everything in a sleepy search for his comfort. Kind of sad. But he didn't really cry too much. So I just tried to make sure he didn't really go anywhere and rubbed his back when I could.

I called open season on the nursing again at 5:30 a.m., instead of 6:00, because he tends to wake on the half hours and at that point I was ready to get a good uninterrupted hour in before the alarm clock went off.

Night 3

Hmm...what might convey the way I feel today? Oh yes - YAAWWWNNN. Last night was a bit of a challenge. He woke as usual about 12:30 and I got him back to sleep fairly quickly, but from 1:40 to 4:15 he was a mess. He cried and flopped about. He would fall asleep for just long enough to give me hope that this was it, he was officially down and I could un-tense my entire body. But then 3 or 5 minutes later he would throw his arm in the air and let out a wail of protest. We struggled for those hours.

When he fell asleep it was snuggled next to me for about an hour. Then at 5:15 I gave up and just gave him what he wanted. We both slept until 7:30 and than my wonderful husband came in and took B for breakfast while I had a blissful half an hour of babyless sleep.

Onward - stage 2.

Shopping Local Louisville - Pre Holiday

2011-11-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

{Some goodies for the mama's to be}

I haven't started my holiday shopping yet, but my goal is to do as much as possible at local, independent retailers who sell locally made products. We owe some of our friends and family some baby and wedding gifts and so I decided to start with the local shopping early - it should really be an all the time type of deal.

I started with colorful burp cloths from The Diaper Fairy, who upcycles the cloth diapers she takes out of rotation by dying and bundling them. Then I headed over to Mama's Hip to pick up some of my favorite baby and mama products, a few of which happen to be made locally by Divine Creations and Peace of the Earth.

For our friends who recently got married we bought a lovely bottle of Kentucky bourbon - Blanton's and I stopped in at Greenhaus for some Cellar Door chocolates and some Argo Sons coffee - but alas they were out of coffee. So this one still needs a little something to finish it up. Any ideas?

I had so much fun going to all my favorite places and it felt really great to know that my money is going back into our community. Now to come up with locally sourced Christmas gifts for my family - there is so much to choose from.

Stopping Night Nursing - The Journey - Night 1

2011-11-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

So you all know that we co-sleep, but what you may not know, is that Beckett doesn't sleep through the night. He still wakes often, sometimes hourly, to nurse, or sometimes I think it's just to latch on for comfort and fall immediately back to sleep. This is pretty normal for co-sleeping babies - I mean imagine sleeping next to a bag of chocolate chip cookies - you'd probably snack a few times during the night. This worked for a long time, but B is getting bigger and he's turning into quit the floppy sleeper. For the last few months my husband and I have not been getting quality sleep. What to do?

Well I came across a great blog, The Leaky Boob, at the exact time the woman who writes the blog was going through this same thing, although I think she toughed it out longer than I have and with more children. She had good results with a method she tried and it seemed to be along the same parenting guidelines H and I are comfortable with. The program is from Dr. Jay Gordon's website. I recommend reading the entire thing if you are considering this, but here is a little bit about part 1 of the plan.

He recommends this for babies over a year old, not infants. This is the plan for the first 3 nights.

"At any time before 11 p.m. (including 10:58) nurse to sleep, cuddle and nurse when he wakes up and nurse him back to sleep, but stop offering nursing to sleep as the solution to waking after 11 p.m.. Instead…..

When your baby awakens at midnight or any other time after 11 p.m., hug him, nurse him for a short time but make sure he does not fall asleep on the breast and put him down awake. Rub and pat and cuddle a little until he falls asleep but don’t put him back on the breast (or give him a bottle if that’s what you’ve been doing). He must fall asleep with your comfort beside him, but not having to nurse to feel comforted enough to drift off.

Now, he will tell you that he is angry and intensely dislikes this new routine. I believe him. He will also try to tell you that he’s scared. I believe he’s angry, but a baby who’s had hundreds of nights in a row of cuddling is not scared of falling asleep with your hand on his back and your voice in his ear. Angry, yes. Scared, no, not really.

During these first three nights, repeat this pattern only after he has slept. He might sleep for fifteen minutes or he might sleep for four hours, but he has to go to sleep and reawaken to get cuddled and fed again."

So I began this process last night. Hillary decided to sleep in another room, so at least one of us was rested for the day. Of course, B must have known I was up to something because he slept from 8 to 11:30 in his crib - which he never does. He has some bad diaper rash and I changed his diaper when he woke, so he was very upset. So I cheated a little and nursed him to sleep at 11:30.

He woke at 1:15 a.m. and I nursed him for a few minutes, unlatched him and snuggled him in tight. He did not like this and as predicted proceeded to thrash around, scream, sob and press his face into me for the next 30 minutes. My will started to give a little around the 20 minute mark, but I held strong and did not let him nurse. I patted, I shushed, I sang, I squeezed, I kissed. Finally he flopped down on his face with his butt in the air and went to sleep. I have never been so relieved.

At 3:30 and 4:30 he woke. Again I nursed for a few minutes, then unlatched. He protested, but nothing like before. He was back asleep within 10 minutes.

At 5:30 he woke again and I was tired. I figured it was close enough to 6:00 and just let him nurse. He fell back asleep and we both slept through the alarm until almost 8:00. So no shower for me before work. At least it's a home office.

I am pleased with the results. It could have been worse. We'll see what happens tonight. I will try to stick to the rules this time.

Vintage Western - First Birthday Party

2011-09-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

Some photo highlights from Beckett's first birthday. We went with a vintage western theme. It was a great time. Enjoy!

He was suspicious of the cake.

Ben & Sam

Beckett Laughlin - 1 Year

2011-09-29T19:52:00.000-04:00

A year ago this week I was in a state of shock and awe. (Sorry if that conjured up images of the last presidential administration for you.) Beckett, all pink and with a lopsided head, came to us three weeks early. I had only washed the cloth diapers that day and my parents had to finish putting his room together while we were in the hospital. It was an awesome surprise.

9/27/10

The last year has been chalk full of cliches. It is true that you have never loved anyone or thing as much as your own child. It is true that watching them grow and become independent before your eyes makes time pass at a frightening pace. And it is true that when you have a helpless being under your care you begin to worry about things you wouldn't have thought twice about in your childless years. There have also been surprises - too many to even mention. (What? All babies don't just go to sleep? You actually have to bounce them down EVERY time?) What has become clear over the last year is how much I was missing before I had Beckett in my life. I look back on my twenties and (very) early 30's with fondness, but I had no idea how much more fulfilled I could feel as a person.

9/27/11

And so he grows. There are still only the two bottom teeth, which are so cute I don't care if he ever gets any more. He stands for long stretches and cruises around the furniture, but no independent steps just yet. Today I think I almost had him saying "more" to ask for more cheese. It sounded like "ma-r." He's got "mama" and "dada" down pat and pulls them out when he wants to tug on our heart strings especially hard. Speaking of patting, he enjoys beating on just about everything he can get his hands on. Lord help the neighborhood girls if he plays the drums, he already has blue eyes and blond hair, they wouldn't stand a chance.

Happy Birthday, Beckett. Thank you for teaching me so much over this first year of our lives together. I hope I can return the favor.

Hogan McLaughlin - Fashion Designer

2011-09-17T10:51:00.001-04:00

{Hogan putting the finishing touches on one of his dresses}

I have been meaning to post about my amazing cousin Hogan McLaughlin for a while now and in the meantime he just kept climbing the rungs on the ladder of success. So now i have much to tell you. I have posted about my dear Hogan before - back in 2008, when he was accomplishing so much in the dance world. He has now changed tracks and is thriving in the world of high fashion. He has good taste in worlds.

He recently completed his first amazing collection - view it on his website. And this week some of his creations were featured in an exhibit on the style of Daphne Guinness at The Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York.

{My copy of the Homicidal Heiress}

So here's the short version - Hogan is a talent. He dances, he draws, he sings, he designs. Daphne Guinness is a fashion icon and an heiress of the Guinness Family - yes, like the Irish stout. I don't know her, but she's clearly an intellegent and wonderful woman, because when Hogan sent her some of his drawings in a book he put together called the Homicidal Heiress, via Twitter of all things, she recognized his talent right away.

Since Ms. Guinness opened the door for Hogan, he is being recognized for his talent, hard work and vision. It seems a balance by the Universe that a Guinness should assist in the fame of a McLaughlin, since our family has done so much to assist the Guinness fortune over the years.

Now allow me a moment to gush. I am the second oldest of a very large, inordinately close, extended family. Last time I counted there were 32 in my generation. I could write a post similar to this one on how proud I am of each of them. But this is Hogan's post and I am just thrilled he is getting so much well deserved attention of his great talent. So cheers to you, my dear. I always knew you were destined for greatness. We love you!

Here is some recent press on Hogan that will give you an example of his talent and eloquence -

A lovely interview on I Want To Be A Coppola - here.
An article w/ photos in New York Magazine on the FIT exhibit - here.
Photos in Vogue Italia (!) of Hogan and his sister Lucy who is STUNNING in some of Hogan's creations - here.
An article in PaperMag.com (read the last 2 paragraphs) - here.

One of Those Moments

2011-09-14T16:12:00.000-04:00

{The I Love You Book - by Todd Parr}

Beckett has responded to "no" for a while now, but I wasn't sure if it was the actual word or the tone of our voices when we say it. And last week he clapped when I said the word clap, without making any physical gesture for him to copy. Then yesterday when I was reading him his bedtime story, I read the line "I love you when you give me kisses," and he turned around from facing the book and gave me a big open mouthed, wet, baby kiss. It was seriously amazing.

It makes sense. We are constantly kissing this kid. Pretty much if I am holding him, my lips are attached to his face. And we're always saying, "kisses!" in ridiculous voices. So now it's clear. We really have to watch what we're saying. Because he gets it. He can't say it back yet, but he knows and if he doesn't he will soon. Shit just got real, people. I mean, shizz...shoot...ugh.

BRAS - Breast Research Awareness & Support

2011-09-07T09:00:00.001-04:00

My father-in-law is an interesting guy. He's mostly retired from a long career in marketing, but dons many a hat, such as inventor and arts website curator. He and my lovely mother-in-law love to entertain and when we visit them it is just as likely that we will have brunch with a variety of interesting characters or be entertained by a bluegrass band comprised of high school students, as enjoy a quiet meal, just the five of us.

So on a recent visit it was no surprise that they were visited by a gentleman and his two kids who immediately went out back to the pool. The adults stayed to socialize. Over the next little while I learned about Chip (the gentleman) and his wife's cutting edge business and my interest was piqued.

They run a facility called BRAS - Breast Research Awareness and Support - here in Louisville, which provides women with an alternative to breast cancer detection and the dreaded mammogram. The technology is called thermography. And it's essentially as easy as having a photo taken of The Sistas and waiting a day for the results. Totally pain and agony free. There's no smashing or mashing and, best of all, no radiation exposure, which accumulates over time - think of that the next time you're at the dentist...yikes.

It's so great to hear about an innovative new front for detecting breast cancer. The fight has a new ally. Check out their FAQ's for more info.

Beckett Laughlin - 10 & 11 Months

2011-09-05T09:31:00.002-04:00

I've been remiss in posting monthly birthday photos of Becks. We are already in our second week of 11 months and you know what that means, a - First Birthday Party!! - is right around the corner.

I really can't believe I'm about to have a one year old. It feels like he just arrived and he's been here all along, at the same time. Sometimes I'm shocked that I have a child at all.

More to come on the par-tay. But here are a few snaps to catch you up.

B at 10 months. He's the fastest crawler in the west. He was super into standing and cruising along along the furniture, but he has learned that he can get around so well on his hands and knees that there is no real point in trying to become a biped. Maybe next month...

I'm not in the habit of posting blurry photos to the Manifesta, but this just describes Becks at 11 months so perfectly. Curious. He is everywhere and interested in it all. After months of wearing mostly just a onesie due to the warm weather, in the last night or two I've put footie pajamas on him because it's a nice chilly temp by the time the morning rolls around. He is amazed by his sleeves and tries to pick the little frogs off of the fabric. It's pretty precious.

So next up - 1 year and possibly a walker. Time is like water through my fingers...who said that originally? Likely someone.

How We Ended Up on Good Morning America - Part 3 (The Viewing)

2011-08-26T08:59:00.000-04:00

And here we are - the final results. This is my last post about GMA - swear! But I couldn't let it just pass by after all the build up and not tell you what I thought of it. So my reaction is...pleasantly surprised!

I think the producer, Sharde, did a great job. It's light and they left the Dr.'s opinions out of it, for the most part. It's just our story and the correspondent's story, who's daughter is older and keeps returning to her parent's bed in the middle of the night, because "it's cozy." She's darling.

Speaking of darling. My sweet Becks comes off as the cutest kid on the planet in this segment, even if the stupid info bar is over his face for half of it.

The correspondent just happens to be Cameron Mathison, who many know as Ryan Lavery from All My Children. And I must admit, I wouldn't get out of his bed either. I had a little moment when I found out he was going to be narrating our story, because from the time I was 12 to about 15, or whenever I started lusting after boys I could actually date, he was my BIG TIME crush. So there was a little bit of running around the house and calling my mom and grandma - who is a huge AMC fan (and no one is more upset that it's going of the air than her).

So give it a watch. I think it's fun and interesting. Of course on GMA's facebook page there were tons of comments about how people who sleep with their kids are bringing on the apocolypse and ruining everything, but that's to be expected. Everyone's got an opinion.

How We Ended Up On Good Morning America - Part 2 (The Taping)

2011-08-23T21:06:00.000-04:00

This is the story of how we ended up on Good Morning America. You can read Part 1 here.

On Sunday GMA sent the lovely Sharde to our home. She is the producer and was in charge of shooting and writing the piece on co-sleeping. She told us she prefers to have a camera crew and after watching her take the camera on and off the tri-pod and move it all around to get the perfect shot, I don't blame her. But for this particular situation I think it worked out for the best. She was very unobtrusive and didn't freak the baby out in our tiny apartment, which may not have been the case with a few additional people.

She started by taping some play time with us and Becks. Then got some footage of him eating dinner. After that she was very gracious while I took time to nurse him and get him in his jammies. After Hillary got him sleeping in his crib it was time for our interviews, first me, then Hillary and finally both of us together.

I was pretty nervous, but Sharde was a good interviewer and put me at ease. I answered the questions honestly and tried to be succinct, which is much easier for me through the written word than when I'm speaking. I was much more at ease with Hillary sitting next to me.

Finally came the last shot, which I was very uncertain about. Sharde wanted to get us all in our family bed. Now, on a normal night Beckett sleeps in his crib until he wakes up any time between 9 p.m. and midnight and then I bring him in with us and we sleep cozily until the morning.

But tonight was different. So Hillary and I turned down our nicely made bed and H crawled under the sheets in his jeans and white t-shirt. I picked up a sleeping Beckett out of his crib - something we are not in the habit of doing and laid him in his spot in the big bed. Then I crawled in beside him, very carefully, as to not wake my light sleeper.

Not only did he stay asleep in the bed while Sharde's camera light swarmed around his head, he didn't even twitch when we picked him back up and placed him back in his crib. I was amazed!

It seems like it would be really intrusive to have Good Morning America in your bedroom while you pretend to sleep, in your jeans, with your actually sleeping son and also pretending husband. But it wasn't and just kind of felt like helping a friend with a project for school or something.

So the episode airs tomorrow (Wednesday) during the 8 o'clock hour of the show. I hope we come across as being people who have done their research and are confident and comfortable in the decision they made. But mostly I hope it is clear that we do it because it works and is right for our family.

How We Ended Up On Good Morning America - Part 1

2011-08-22T20:30:00.002-04:00

Life is weird.

As anyone who has read my blog for a little while knows, my family co-sleeps. I wrote about it here. A reporter from the Huffington Post came across that blog entry while she was doing research for a story about co-sleeping. She contacted me and asked if I would mind speaking to her about it. I was honestly delighted. We had, what I thought to be, a lovely interview. She was very nice and I spoke in glowing terms about co-sleeping and explained that, yes in the beginning we didn't talk about it, but now we are confident in our decision and really enjoy it.

This is not what came across in the article, which you can read here. While the headline is now - Co-Sleeping Bad For Kids? These Parents Kept It Secret - it originally read - Co-Sleeping Bad For Kids? These Parents Are Ashamed. I never told the reporter I was ashamed, because I wasn't. Also, she did not make it clear that while we didn't talk about it in the beginning, we do now. Clearly, since she found me through my blog post about it, I wasn't trying to hide anything.

So the morning it went live on Huff Po, Hillary and I had a good rant about journalistic integrity and by mid-afternoon had almost completely forgotten it.

That evening we got a confused call from my sister-in-law saying that someone from ABC News called them looking for us. We are apparently not listed. Side note - the last time my sister-in-law got a phone call from someone looking for us, it was the Chicago Police Dept. because they found Hillary's wallet that had been pick-pocketed on the El. She must think our lives are much more exciting than they actually are.

After a 15 minute phone conversation with the woman at ABC News wherein I learned they are interested in sending a camera crew out to interview us about co-sleeping I think to ask, "What show is this for?" From the other end I hear - "Good Morning America - it's a news and..."

"Um yeah, I've heard of it." Oh. My. God.

I immediately starting pointing to the phone and mouthing "Good Morning America wants to interview us," to Hillary who is staring at me, mouth agape.

We briefly had the are we sure we want to air our lives on television conversation with hand gestures and whispers, while the ABC News woman was explaining they would probably fly someone out over the weekend.

Basically what we decided was that co-sleeping works for us and we're totally comfortable talking about that to anyone.

Then we spent the next two days coming up with every possibly scenario for what would happen when GMA actually showed up at our house. There was a lot of - WHAT am I going to wear? What is Beckett going to wear? And we need to go to Target and get some loose powder for H's bald spot!

Luckily the house was in good hands. My mom, the design queen, was in and walked around adjusting picture frames and styling flowers for us.

I have to say, it was pretty exciting.

The piece airs Wednesday August, 24 2011 during the shows 8:00 hour.

The Big Latch On - Louisville

2011-08-09T20:45:00.000-04:00

On Saturday I breastfed Beckett in a room with 100 other women, who were also breast feeding. It was part of The Big Latch On - an event held during breast feeding week that gets women all over the world to breast feed at the same time. This year Louisville had 101 participants and 4,123 women participated across the globe. It was organized by the wonderful women behind Mama's Hip and The Diaper Fairy and possibly some other lovely pro-breastfeeding companies in town.

Becks was more excited than he looks, especially when he found out he got to snack! I didn't really know what to expect, but the turn out was amazing. It made me so happy to know there are this many women in town who took the time to show how important they feel breast feeding is. Sometimes I feel like I'm in such a bubble, I know what my friends and I hold dear, but are we even close to being on the same page as anyone else. Turns out, that yes, we are. It was an empowering feeling.

I loved seeing so many women, all different colors and creeds, gathered together. And the babies! It was cute overload. Beckett kept pointing and saying 'da!' every time he saw a new one. I'm sure he thought we'd returned him to his people. It was adorable.

Summer's Bounty - Rooftop Garden

2011-08-07T11:46:00.000-04:00

I've lived in apartments most of my adult life, so growing a garden wasn't really in the cards. But we have relatively easy access to the roof in our current place and so I decided to try my hand at growing some tomatoes. I'd heard heat and humidity is what these delicious fruit love, and we have that down here in spades. So I planted an heirloom variety that my brother started from seed in a big felt planter my mom bought and let her grow.

I was thinking they would be safe from pests up on the roof, but within the first week a squirrel had eaten one of my two plants down to a stump. Bastard squirrel. He must not have liked the taste of the other plant, however, because he never even nibbled a leaf. The caterpillars do like it, but its been easy to pick them off. How did they even get up there?

Today I picked my first red tomato! She may be a little too green still on top, but I couldn't wait. She has been hanging around for a while but just reddened up over the past few days. Hopefully she'll ripen fully on the window sill. So exciting!!

The Paper - About Louisville & The Awesomeness It Contains

2011-08-04T08:46:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've read any print publication cover to cover. Earlier this week The Paper changed that. Yes, I am a contributor (you can read my story here) but that has little to do with my entertainment. The first issue is chalk full of one interesting article after another.

The Mperfect (i.e. Matt Dobson and Jason Pierce) publication is all about our city and the people doing great stuff in it and for it. They are focusing on and highlighting the good and interesting that surround us Louisvillians daily and that's just what The Paper is - good and interesting.

Copies can be purchased ($.50) at Please & Thank You on E. Market - like you need a reason to go there. Only a smattering of stories from the full issue are online, so go out and get the whole thing and settle in for a cover to cover read.

Birth Story - Violet Emilia - Part 2

2011-07-25T08:28:00.000-04:00

Without further adieu here is the conclusion of Violet Emilia's birth story...

Dr. Crane had already let me stall long past the point when many doctors would, and he finally said they needed to give me pitocin to get me to progress. They had put a monitor inside me to measure my contractions (which was not comfortable) and my uterus was also getting tired, so the contractions weren’t doing as much as they should. I didn’t think I could take stronger contractions than I’d been having for an undetermined length of time and still have enough energy to push, and I told Dr. Crane that, assuming that meant I'd need a c-section. He said he thought I could do it, but after I'd told him no a few times, he gave our doula a pointed look and she said gently, "You know, you could get an epidural with the pitocin." It hadn't occurred to me that I could get one and it wasn't until later that I realized Dr. Crane wasn't offering one because it said not to in our birth plan. That was the best idea I'd heard all day. After that it took about an hour to hydrate me through an IV and get the anesthesiologist in, but I asked with almost every contraction when my epidural was coming.

It arrived at about 4 p.m. and really did take away all of the pain. It was surreal. I could see on the monitor that I was having a contraction and occasionally feel a bit of pressure, but really nothing. I was supposed to rest and I think I slept for about a half hour, but it turns out they gave me too much of the epidural. It made me get sick again and my left leg was so numb I could barely move it and I was freezing cold and shivering. At 6:30 p.m., everyone expected me to be fully dilated, but I was only 9 ½ cm. By 7:30 I was so close Dr. Crane manipulated the last bit of the cervix out of the way during a contraction so I could finally push.

Cheryl told me I needed to get the baby out quickly and I knew I didn’t have much time. I found out later Dr. Crane had pulled Anthony aside in the hallway to tell him this was my last chance. They were worried about the baby’s heart rate and also about my blood pressure. They turned the epidural off so I could feel everything to try to make me more efficient. My first push was pretty effective, but the baby’s heart rate dropped below a safe level and they made me stop pushing for the next few contractions.

The nurse was trying to get me to turn over, which would have slowed things down more, but the baby’s heart rate came back up just in time and I was able to resume pushing. Cheryl was on one leg, the nurse on another and Anthony behind my back and they all helped me basically do a crunch with each contraction. A few pushes in, Dr. Crane was able to reach inside me and turn the baby to face the right direction, which stabilized her heartbeat. Anthony was great, telling me how much I was progressing each time I pushed, and after several more pushes they told me to reach down to feel the top of her head. The pushing didn’t hurt nearly as much as my contractions and was actually pretty cool. It definitely hurt, but it was a different kind of pain.

Violet was born at 8:08 p.m. on December 6th, 2010, after only 40 minutes of pushing and a 41 hour labor. I always assumed I'd sob when she was finally born. Anthony was crying, and I may have shed a tear or two, but I was mostly in shock. We just kept staring at our amazing baby, in between the doctor tidying me up and Cheryl helping us start breastfeeding and all that new baby stuff.

{Emma, Anthony and Baby Violet!}

They put Violet directly on my chest when she was born, but Dr. Crane asked to weigh her before he left, since he'd been hinting at her size for weeks. She came in at a whopping 9 lb 6 oz and 22 inches.

{A big girl!}

Everyone assumes I must be miserable about my labor, I guess because it was so long, but it was the most incredible day(s) of my life. And I'm not just saying that because it ended with the best bonus you can ever get. It was fascinating to go through the whole journey and I'd do it again the same way. I feel so lucky to have the doula and doctor we did, when almost any other OB would have had me in an operating room hours before the end. And although all babies are pretty special, Violet is extra super amazing. We love her so much!

{Beautiful Violet}

Thank you so much, Emma and Anthony for sharing your amazing story with us. I am so amazed at the similarities and differences between all these stories. Every baby comes into this world with it's own story. It's beautiful.

Birth Story - Violet Emilia - Part 1

2011-07-24T09:54:00.000-04:00

I have another wonderful birth story for you today from the Baby Momma series - Violet Emilia!

She lives in Los Angeles, CA with her mom, Emma, and father, Anthony. Emma is a researcher for a global search firm and did an amazing job telling her birth story. Violet is now 7 month old. Take it away, Emma...

Like Sara, I'd always wanted a natural birth. At first it was partly to know what it felt like and partly to see if I could do it, like some kind of test. Enough people I knew had done it that I thought I could too. Once I actually got pregnant and learned about all of the benefits to the baby, I was more determined than ever to forgo drugs or any interventions, if at all possible. We took Bradley Method classes and ended up hiring the teacher, Cheryl, as our doula.

Our doctor, Dr. Crane, said how your birth turns out is mostly luck. I wanted to influence what I could and the Bradley Method includes all these exercises to make sure the baby is in the right position. I never ended up doing all the prenatal yoga I envisioned and the exercise DVDs I bought went mostly unused, but I was disciplined about those damn arches and squats...anything to avoid the back labor my mom had with me. At 28 weeks, we learned the baby was in the posterior position (facing the front, which causes back labor), but by the next visit, with a lot of Bradley exercises and a few bouts of baby movement that looked like the movie Alien, I got her into the anterior position (facing my back, which is good) and she was still there for my last doctor's visit.

Dr. Crane is like an absent-minded, socialist professor in the form of a Beverly Hills OB to the rich and famous (and us). We switched to him at 24 weeks because he's known for not intervening unless he has to, but about six weeks before my due date he started saying he'd be happy if she came any time, because: "this is a big baby and you are a relatively small person." I'm not that mini and have a full set of hips, so I laughed him off and hoped she'd at least wait till I was done with work. I started having pretty regular contractions about two weeks out, so I wasn't sure she would. In the week before my due date, when I started dilating and effacing and all that fun stuff, Dr. Crane offered multiple times to sweep my membranes: "Just so you know it's an option. This is a big baby and you want a natural birth." I declined. She would come when she was ready. And when she was almost a week late and I was no longer working, I figured I might as well enjoy it. I took long walks with Anthony, my awesome husband, and got acupuncture to try to coax her out as naturally as possible; I went to a restaurant for a salad that's supposed to bring on labor within 24 hours of eating it (which seems like a clever marketing gimmick), and mostly I read and read, curled up on the couch in a very un-Bradley position (you're supposed to sit up straight).

{Darling Emma trying to walking it out}

On Sunday morning, December 5th, five days after my due date, I woke up at 3 a.m. with strong contractions every 10 minutes. I'd had these before, but there were more of them this time, then they stretched out to about every 20 minutes as it got light out. Cheryl had said if labor's not getting stronger when the sun comes up, the baby probably won't come until dark, so I figured I had a while to wait. I tried to relax as much as possible and tried to read the last book of the Hunger Games Trilogy, but even though I'd zoomed through the first two books in a few hours, it was hard to concentrate. Anthony fixed me some stew at about 1 p.m. and then convinced me to lie down. I was able to sleep in the gaps between a couple of contractions.

By about 4 p.m. the contractions had worked their way back to 10 minutes apart. I finally gave up on reading and Anthony made me eat some yogurt. The most amazing thing to me about my labor (besides bringing a person into the world) is that I didn't want to eat. I normally need to eat every two to three hours or I become a lunatic. I was convinced I'd want to carboload for the biggest physical challenge of my life, so I'd planned yummy meals of pancakes and snacks of mochi and Anthony had been making ice cubes out of Recharge for weeks. But whatever I put in wanted to come out and that just wasn't comfortable, so I couldn't eat and had to force myself to keep drinking.

By 9 p.m., my contractions were generally about five minutes apart, but sometimes they were two minutes, sometimes eight minutes and a lot of times they were back to back, which I later learned is called coupling. My actual back hurt a LOT during the contractions and I kept asking Anthony to press as hard as he could on a spot by my spine.

The idea was to stay home as long as possible, but we called Cheryl at this point to have her come over and called the doctor’s office, since we were supposed to let him know when contractions were five minutes apart. The doctor on call did notify our doctor, but he also told us that because my contractions were irregular they probably weren’t doing as much as they should and we should wait until they became more predictable to actually talk to Dr. Crane. This was frustrating, because I felt like he was telling me what was happening didn’t count, but Cheryl got to our house right after that and was able to help with another set of hands to press on my back and positions to make me more comfortable. She was just the right height for me to collapse onto during each contraction. She also told me that the pain in my back wasn't just how a contraction feels - I was having the dreaded back labor. All that curling up on the couch backfired and the baby turned in my last week of pregnancy! This also explained the irregular contractions and coupling. Cheryl gave me some homeopathics to try to make my contractions more efficient and put me in some other, very uncomfortable positions to see if the baby would turn, but things pretty much continued on the same way. By 4 a.m. I was getting discouraged. My contractions were still two to five minutes apart and were very painful. I'd been throwing up for hours and was tired. And I uttered the dreaded words: "I want to go to the hospital to get an epidural." Cheryl just looked at me and said, "Why? All that will do is get rid of the pain." I have no idea why that shut me up, but it seemed like reasonable logic. I kept going and soon after that Dr. Crane called to check in.

We made arrangements to meet him at his office at 6 a.m. to be checked. When I got there I was 5 to 5 ½ cm. dilated. I was hoping for more like 8 cm, but he said this was good progress. My water looked ready to break and he called the hospital so I could be admitted directly to a labor and delivery room. If we hurried, we could get the last room with a window, which I didn't really didn't care about, but they're in high demand and I wasn't going to dawdle.

{The view from the LA hospital}

Once I was admitted and in the labor dress I'd bought so I didn't have to wear a hospital gown, they hooked me up to a monitor. The baby’s heart rate dropped during a contraction, so I was put on a portable monitor that still let me move around. My contractions continued to be pretty much every two to five minutes, like they had been all night, but at 9 a.m. I was 8 cm dilated, which was encouraging.

At 11:30 a.m. I was still at 8 cm. Dr. Crane convinced me to let him break the amniotic sac, which relieved some of the intense pressure I was feeling, but at 1 p.m. I was still at 8 cm.

{Emma - 34 hours in - wearing her labor dress. So much better than a hospital gown!}

By 3 p.m. I was feeling the urge to push. I even let out one of those primal screams actors playing women in labor make, but when I got checked I was STILL at 8 cm, so I had to actively resist pushing.

I was trying to stand up because this made the contractions stronger, but I was exhausted and my legs were shaking so badly it was hard to stay upright.

Birth Story - Alice Mae

2011-07-02T09:03:00.000-04:00

Lindsey & Alice

Next up in the Baby Momma's birth story series we have Alice Mae, daughter of Louisvillians, Lindsey & Matt. Lindsey, 31, is a high school arts teacher and amazing artist and photographer herself. Sweet Alice was born on March 10, 2011 at 1:07am and was 8 lbs., 3 oz., 22 inches long.

Here's Lindsey!

Alice was a dream baby from the beginning. Throughout my pregnancy, which was my first, she posed very few problems for me. I was able to work pretty much the whole time I was pregnant – a remarkable blessing considering I teach high school art & photography! Aside from the occasional bout of nausea and extreme fatigue that is often commonplace, there were no scares or worries. The only real tragedy was that our community garden bit the dust…the smell of dirt and taste of vegetables made me want to vomit!

Leading up to Alice's arrival I met with the midwives, read every pregnancy book I could get my hands on, took a nine week natural childbirth education class, hired and met with our doula, found out the baby was a girl, researched and registered for all the "right" baby gear, attended three baby showers (thanks again, everyone!), prepared the nursery, made practice runs to the hospital, and packed our bags. We'd already picked the name Alice Mae after my great aunt Alyce and Matt's grandma (her middle name was May), and kept it as our little secret the entire time I was pregnant. Matt read a book on being an expectant father and attended the classes with me, on top of being a new partner in a design firm and making late night runs to Kroger for the ice cream and chocolate that I craved so much (best husband ever). I was hell-bent on having a natural birth with no interventions, so I wrote a birth plan and submitted it to the hospital - after all, women have been giving birth for centuries with no drugs, right?! We were both as prepared as newbie parents could be, which is to say not much.

So we waited. And waited. I hoped she would come early, but she had other plans. I worked a week past my due date and still nothing. I was HUGE and very uncomfortable those last few weeks. People kept asking me, "When's this baby gonna show up?" and "I thought you'd be gone by now!" and it became very difficult to concentrate on anything else. It was also hard to be on my feet that long every day, so I decided it would be best to take some time off work to regain my physical and mental strength for labor and delivery.

At my 41 week appointment with the midwives, I elected to have my membranes stripped (yes, it's painful) and said they would have to induce the next week if there was no progress. This is not what I wanted to hear, being pro-natural birth, but I made that fateful appointment and crossed my fingers that Alice would show up on her own. In tears I called our doula, Jenny Claire, and she reminded me that due dates are only rough estimates and to stay strong.

A few nights later, my prayers were answered. Just as I was getting into bed at midnight, I heard a slight "pop"…my water had broken! YEE-HAW!!! After freaking out for a few minutes, I tried to remain calm. All that was running through my head was, "We're going to meet our baby!" over and over again. Sleep was no option because I immediately began having contractions about 10 minutes apart. I reluctantly called Jenny Claire (who was 7 months pregnant at the time) and she told me to try to eat something and rest as much as possible. Around 2am Matt made me one of the most delicious egg and cheese sandwiches of my life and I hung out in my favorite chair until morning, trying to relax between contractions. Matt didn't get much sleep, either, because every time I breathed heavily through a contraction or got up to go to the bathroom he awoke with a jolt, ready to help.

Jenny Claire arrived at our house around 9:30 in the morning and my contractions became much longer, stronger, and closer together. We hung out and watched "Let's Make A Deal" and other terrible morning TV programming to keep my mind off the pain. We decided to go to the hospital when they were about 4 minutes apart. Although it was drizzling and chilly outside, I remember thinking that it was a beautiful day to have a baby but PLEASE not in the car on the Kennedy Bridge!

Upon our arrival I was wheeled up to Labor & Delivery and got the last private room available that morning. I was in really good spirits considering the pain that was washing over me. We met our first set of nurses, one of which was named Mae (the middle name we had chosen for Alice). I took this as a good omen while they prepped me with an IV port and hooked me up to the fetal monitor among other things. They checked me and I was only 3cm, but almost fully effaced - good news. Little did we know, it would be a long day and night.

Thankfully, the room we were given had a large tub and I climbed in as soon as the nurses finished with their tasks. Baths have always been soothing for me, and this was no exception. The water took the edge off and Matt brought our iPod and speakers in for me to listen to the Relaxation Mix I made specifically for my time in labor. There I sat for hours singing along to Nina Simone, Bjork, Air, The Sea & Cake, etc. between moments of low-pitched moaning and strain. Matt and Jenny Claire took turns rubbing my shoulders, keeping me hydrated, and helping me up every so often so the nurses could hear the baby's heartbeat. One of our nurses on duty for the second round was even named Alice…I was sure we'd picked the perfect name! These are the warm, fuzzy moments of labor that I will always cherish. This was the calm before the storm.

After awhile we all realized that laboring in the tub, pleasant enough as it was, would probably not make Alice arrive any sooner. She seemed perfectly content to stay in the womb forever, our little Pisces water baby! I had no idea what time it was, but I assumed it was early afternoon judging by how wrinkly my hands were from soaking in the tub. I dried off, wrapped up in a blanket, and sat in a chair next to the bed while the nurses hooked me up to the fetal monitoring machine. Alison, my midwife, showed up and hung out for awhile thinking she would deliver me soon. (Did I mention she was ALSO very pregnant? Crazy, right?!) I was excited to see her because this meant I should be pushing soon! Little did I know, Alice would not come into the world so easily.

From that point on everything became a fever dream - the room was undulating around me and time was suspended. I heard voices, but they were muffled and unintelligible. My vision was blurry and I rocked back and forth to cope with the intensity of the pain. I had one contraction on top of another with very few breaks for hours on end. I remember feeling like I'd truly lost my mind. At one point I was sobbing uncontrollably and saying something to the effect of, "I just want to meet her already!" I am never that whiny and impatient in real life!

When it seemed I had a break, I changed positions and tried to squat on the bed. This proved VERY painful, so I laid on my side for a little while and worked through another round of crushing contractions. Alison came over to the side of the bed and checked my progress. At this point it was around 9pm (I remember asking because everything was hazy and I couldn't see straight) and I was positive that we were close. Turns out, I was only 7cm - not much progress! I was completely crushed by the news and needed to get some rest, so everyone except Matt and Jenny Claire left the room and I was assured some peace and quiet. As soon as I closed my eyes to sleep, a nurse walked in to ask me something inconsequential. By this point I had been awake almost 36 hours straight and this was NOT the time for questions. Thankfully, Matt shooed her away before I got a chance to give her a piece of my mind! Just then, the contractions started coming again in waves, only this time they were excruciating. I held on to the side rail of the bed with my body in the fetal position and braced myself for each one. I pulled the side rail toward me with such force that Matt thought it would break off any moment. I was absolutely in the worst pain of my life and I was sure I was going to die. SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE.

I cried out for Matt, who had been right next to me the entire time, and Jenny Claire to ask them what I should do. Obviously, some rest would help and I wasn't getting anywhere at the rate I was going. Jenny Claire fetched Alison and she sat down to explain our options. "All that matters is a healthy mom and a healthy baby", I chanted in my mind. "I don't have to kill myself trying to have it my way." It basically went down like this from my perspective:

Me: (thrashing around like a wild animal): "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I need SOMETHING!

Alison: "Well, you could blah blah blah, or get an epidural which will numb you from the waist down so you can get some rest, or blah blah blah…"

Me: (looking sideways at Matt, eyes wide and hope restored): "Did you just say EPIDURAL? And I'll be able to SLEEP?!"

Alison: "Yes, but there are risks…blah blah blah…"

Me: (with the utmost clarity): "LET'S DO THIS."

After signing some paperwork I waited for what seemed to be an hour for the doctor on-call, but in reality it was only a few minutes. Alison, Matt, and Jenny Claire had to leave the room for 30 minutes (hospital policy) while the doctor and anesthesiologist to came in and did their thang. I was told to sit up, lean forward, and remain still while she inserted the needle. That part was not so fun, but I did have the help of a great nurse who coached me through it. Then came the sweet sweet drugs that saved me. I was myself again and no longer felt like I was transforming into The Incredible Hulk. Matt and Jenny Claire came back into the room and we all collapsed to rest up for delivery, which would begin in a couple of hours.

I awoke from a deep sleep to the nurses wheeling in the cart for delivery and Alison close behind. She checked me and I was FINALLY dilated to 10cm and fully effaced! The epidural had worked its strange magic. She said, "Are you ready to meet this baby?" and we all responded with an excited "YES!" in unison. My lifeless legs were hoisted onto the stirrups and I was instructed to bear down and push even though I couldn't feel a thing. The room was buzzing with anticipation as every push got us closer to meeting our sweet baby. When her head crowned, Alison declared there was a huge curl on top - one she still has to this day.

Then it happened. With one big push, our sweet Alice was finally born. Everyone in the room let out a collective gasp, and our angel appeared sunny-side up (no wonder she was being so stubborn), with a loud cry! She was instantly placed on my chest and she remains the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen. "Hi, baby!" I said over and over again, for lack of better words to express myself. Matt and I were awestruck by this tiny person that would forever change our lives. It was love at first sight, pure and simple. As she laid there taking her first breaths, we cried tears of joy and I made Matt count her fingers and toes (10 and 10? Excellent!). Her little fingers wrapped around ours and we cuddled family-style in our little love bubble, getting to know our beautiful Alice Mae.

A current photo of Alice, who is now 4 months.

Amazing story! Thank you, Lindsey, so much for sharing your beautiful story. I think there's a theme with these stories - we plan, the babies call the shots. So goes the rest of our lives, or at least the next 18ish years.

Beckett - 9 Months

2011-07-02T08:18:00.000-04:00

Starring his brand new bottom teeth!

Last week Becks turned 9 months. He's officially been with us out of the womb as long as he was in. The amount of change and growth has been no less impressive than those first 3 trimesters. He crawls like a master, but it already totally over that and is walking along the furniture. I fear he will be toddling around here in no time.

Of course, his bottom teeth have broken and are even toothier now than in the picture above. He's experimenting with all sorts of finger foods. Bananas and avocados are a fav, but they are pretty slippery so most don't end up in his mouth. He HATES Swiss cheese for some reason. He crunches up his nose and clamps his mouth shut at even the suggestion. It must be the smell. Or he inherited the distaste from his Grandma Kate, who does the same.

Sleep is still...well let's not go there. The bottom line is he's really become quite a delightful child and is rarely cranky. I could not say the same if I was as sleep deprived.

Je t'adore, Beezey.

Spa Day - At Home

2011-06-30T10:07:00.001-04:00

Photo from the Library of Congress Photostream, Photographer: William P. Gottlieb

If you read my last post, you'll remember I was feeling a bit on the shabby side. I'm slightly less horrified by my reflextion after a little TLC that really didn't end up taking as much time as I was thinking it would. Time is at a premium as a new mom and what you can't fit into the span of a nap, gets put off...for WAY too long, in this case.

Obviously the toning is going to take a while - I found this little vid from the always helpful Daily Candy that I think will be a nice addition to the middle of my yoga practice to help whip these abs into shape a bit more quickly. My hair must also wait, but an appointment for the end of next week has been made. I'm feeling a drastic change is needed. Hopefully my stylist is up to the challenge - she's pretty awesome, so I think she will be.

A couple of years ago I would have just scheduled a full day at the spa. But I'm much more practical now (read: married) and our money goes to other things - like my 9 month old and our down payment on a house savings account. So to make myself feel better immediately I plucked my brows, filed my nails and painted my toes. I did a little steam treatment on my face and used some of the expensive eye cream I keep in the back of the medicine cabinet for just such occasions.

To exfoliate my arms and legs I mixed about a cup of sugar with some oil, until it became a paste. You can use olive oil or whatever you have in your cabinet. I like veggie oil because it's cheap and scentless so I can add a few drops of scented oil to make it a bit more luxurious. Add a foot/shoulder rub from my gracious husband and voila! A mini spa day on the cheap. Lovely! Or at the least, lovelier.

Maintenance Needed

2011-06-24T21:41:00.000-04:00

Photo from the Library of Congress Photostream, Photographer: Marjory Collins (1912-1985)

I went to get a bathing suit this afternoon and, I must say, it was a sobering experience. This is not just any swim suit season, this is the first swim suit season for me post baby. I am sad to report that after peeling off my baggy layers, I found the place in a sad state of disrepair.

I have actually lost all of my baby weight in the last nine months, plus some. However, I can't take any credit for that. I had a child that nursed pretty much around the clock for the first 4 months and has only dropped a few feedings since. That is a huge calorie burner.

One of the main issues here is that the problem is concealed when clothed, which I am, most of the time. But in that plain black one piece, under the unholy florescent lights it was clear that I am in need of some serious maintenance.

I just stood their pinching the flab that has cropped up under my arms. It's skinny fat. An untoned, jiggly, jello-like substance on my arms, hips and back. It's got to go! Pilates, Bikram Yoga - here I come.

And that's not the only problem. I started looking at my nail beds and my pores. I was once a bi-monthly mani/pedi and monthly facial kind of girl. (Of course, that's what you can do when you're single and make a decent salary.) And I won't even start the multiple areas in need of a good waxing. My esthetician would be ashamed!

I'm not sure if this is a normal thing that happens to new moms, because we put so much energy towards the baby or if it's because I'm working from home and don't feel any pressure to keep up with the standards that society imposes on women. Whatever the case I don't remember dropping the ball, but something must be done. In fact, I have a date with a nail file, right this minute.

Birth Story - Jordyn Lee

2011-06-23T22:13:00.000-04:00

Progress on the teething issues: We have movement! Bottom two have broken through. This gave him relief for about a day and a half and the tops are paining him again. They are close. I know it. Although now we are dealing with some serious diaper rash. I hope he'll be sleeping again in a week or so. And I can post regularly again. So while I'm dealing with those issues, let's move along with Baby Momma series! Our third amazing birth is Jordyn Lee!

Jana, Jordyn's mom, is 28 and lives in Waynesville, MO with her husband, Kenny and their six year old daughter, Kailey. Jana is a full time psychology student, mother and Army wife.

Jordyn was born on Oct. 4, 2010 and is now 8 months old. Here's Jana...

Since this was my 2nd child, I already had in mind what type of birth I wanted. My plan was to go into labor at home, once my contractions were 5 minutes apart, go to the hospital and get my epidural when I needed it. But, I guess someone had other plans. My story goes like this...

After trying for a year, my husband Kenny and I were finally pregnant with our 2nd child. My pregnancy was great. I gained a total of 20 lbs and my blood pressure was perfect. This was a big deal since during my 1st pregnancy I had to be induced at 37 weeks because of preeclampsia.

At my 38 week check up, I was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. My doctor informed me that since this was my second child, I could schedule to be induced on my due date. My goal was to try and go into labor on my own but since he offered, I decided to have him schedule it just in case. The only stipulation was that we had to call at 5:00 am the morning of to see if they had room. If they didn't, I would have to wait.

During the last 2 weeks, I tried everything. Walking, sex, Castor Oil, stripping the membranes (twice) etc... Although, this did bring on strong contractions, they weren't consistent and eventually went away. The morning of October 4th Kenny called in and they had the room. Once we got there, they put us in a room but my doctor didn't write any instructions in my chart so they had to wait for him to get there at 7:30am. 8:00am he comes into my room and checks me. I'm still only 1 cm and about 90% effaced. Also, the baby hadn't dropped. At this point, he didn't see any reason to induce me. I started balling! I think I made him feel bad because he decided to do an ultrasound to make sure everything looked OK.

While looking at the ultrasound, he noticed that half of my placenta was calcified. In other words, it looked like a loofah sponge. This normally happens to women who smoke (which I do not) and have high blood pressure. After seeing this, he said there was no way I was going home now. The nurses started my IV of Pitocin right away. A few hours later, they stop my Pitocin because I'm having strong contractions on my own. Around this time, my water broke on its own.

Around 6:00pm, the doctor came in to check me. I was 6 cm dilated and the contractions were getting pretty intense. I knew it was time for my epidural. The anesthesiologist came in about 30 minutes later and after three tries, she got it. A couple minutes later I started feeling really light headed, nauseated, and started seeing spots. My blood pressure was dropping. The nurses all started rushing around me at this point administering medication to reverse this. After about 10 minutes I was OK.

8:00pm the doctor came in to check me again. I was still 6 cm. He informed me that if I didn't progress in the next couple hours, I would have to have a c-section. 8:20pm the doctor rushes in my room and tells me to lay on my left side. He had been watching my monitors from the nurses station and noticed that her heart rate would drop as each contraction hit. There was no way around it, I had to have a c-section.

As Kenny was getting scrubbed up, I was wheeled back to surgery. I have never had surgery so I was terrified. While laying there, I noticed that I could feel every contraction on my left side. As they increased my epidural, I could still feel it. The doctor said I would have to be put under. The mask was put on my face and I was told to count from 10-1. I think I made it to 7.

At 9:11pm on October 4, 2010 Jordyn Lee was born. I woke up around 10pm. Kenny came into the recovery room a couple minutes later. He said because I had to be put completely under, he wasn't allowed to be in the room with me. He had to watch from the little window in the door.

Two hours later (about midnight) Kenny and I decided to go to bed. As I was laying there, I noticed that she spit up again. I turned on the light so that I could clean her up and noticed that it was light green. I called the nurse into the room. Since our hospital doesn't have a nursery the nurse decided to take her into the nurses station and watch her. At 3am, I was awoke by the doctor. As I was trying to wake up, she informed me that Jordyn had spit up again several times and it was green. They decided the best thing to do was ship her to the Children's Hospital two hours away because they didn't know what was wrong with her. Also, the ambulance was already on the way.

Kenny woke up in the middle of that conversation, and jumped up to get dressed. He was going to follow the ambulance down there and I was going to meet him once they discharged me later that day.

At 5:00am the ambulance took my baby girl to the Children's hospital as I stayed behind. That was one of the hardest things I had ever done...

Once I arrived at the Children's Hospital, the doctor sat down with Kenny and I to explain the 3 things they thought it could be: Constipation, Hirschsprung's disease, or Cystic Fibrosis. Two days later, after several tests they found out it was Hirschsprung's disease. Basically, some of the nerves in her large intestine weren't sending signals up to the brain. The only cure for that is surgery.

Jordyn, right after surgery. Heartbreak.

On Tuesday October 12th, Jordyn had surgery. Kenny and I were terrified but the nurses kept us very informed and even called us from the surgery room to keep me updated on everything. Within two hours, they found the part of her large intestine that wasn't working and removed it. The surgery was supposed to take about 6-8 hours but only took 4. Jordyn did great in surgery and recovered fast. After almost two weeks in the NICU, Jordyn was able to come home.

I'm happy to report that Jordyn is a happy and very healthy little 8 month old. Thank you for sharing your story, Jana!

Two Year Anniversary

2011-06-20T13:52:00.000-04:00

He's PBR, I'm champagne (in a wine glass)

We'd walked down the aisle before, but this time we'd known eachother for more than 12 hours. Two years ago today I said, "Yes, Please!" and Hillary and I began our life as Team Rust. In that time we've moved from LA to Louisville and have taken great care to make it our home. Maybe most importanly, we grew our team from two to three - because who wants to take things slowly?

I have more fun on a daily basis with and because of Hillary and Beckett than is probably legal. I wouldn't change a single moment of the last 2 years, not even the bumps. I can't wait to find out what's next.

I love you, HDR. Thank you!

Teething Troubles

2011-06-07T21:59:00.000-04:00

My posting has been halted lately because all my spare time seems to be taken up soothing my poor, darling Becks. I think he may be having the most difficult teething experience of any baby, ever in the history of babies with teeth. According to his Ped he's been teething since his third month - that's five months of drooly, cranky baby.

Bouts of pain have come and gone over the last few months and to his credit he's happy most of the time, but this past week has been rough.

His top and bottom front theethers (baby talk is nearly mandatory) are so close to the surface I can practically see them, but they just won't bust out. We give him things to chew on, Sophie le Giraffe just isn't cutting it these days. Cold rags, Tylenol, even his own knuckles, which he rakes across his gums like he's playing the harmonica, don't ease his pain.

I fully expect all of his napping issues (frequent waking and a hard time going down) to completely disappear and he'll be the perfect napper and the happiest, pain free baby in the house as soon as those little guys make an appearance. Be free, little teeth, be free!

Birth Story - June Apple - Part 2

2011-05-22T18:52:00.000-04:00

{Katy and June on Derby weekend}

Without further adieu, here is the conclusion of Katy, Amos and June's story...

Now, Susan and I had just gone over my birth plan the day before, and my plan was to labor at home as long as possible. I had asked her, as a part of the plan, when she thought would be a good time to go to the hospital. She said when I was 6 or 7 centimeters dilated. She said she would now this by how I acted. Not knowing what she meant, I went with it. This is why we hired her. I wanted to be at home as long as possible, so I could avoid all the interventions and rules that come in to play as soon as you walk into the hospital. I wanted to be able to get up and move around and not be hooked up to anything and eat, drink, dance whenever I felt like it. For the record, I did not eat, drink, or dance, but I could have if I wanted to. But I didn't.

Susan got to the house around 9am and I was in the living room sitting on a yoga ball, with my grandmother's quilt wrapped around my shoulders and Rosco, the dog, standing guard. Susan sat on the floor next to me. Afterward, she would say that every time I had a contraction, my left hip would lift up off the ball, and she thought that maybe the baby was bearing down in an awkward position. She asked me if I thought I might be more comfortable if I moved to the couch. She thought this might change the position of the baby, but she didn't mention any of this to me, she just posed it to me as if it might make things more comfortable. I guess she didn't want to worry me unnecessarily. I moved to the couch and lay down. As soon as I did, shit got INTENSE. Whoa. Serious pain. I thought to myself, If I have 24 more hours of this, I will never be able to do it without an epidural. I had told both Amos and Susan, and had written it in my birth plan, that I did not want to be offered any sort of pain medication. We had all agreed that an epidural would only be discussed if I had been in labor for something crazy, like 43 hours, and I was really suffering. At this point I had only been in labor for 8 hours, and it was starting to really be painful. How was I going to do this? Susan would later tell me that as soon as I moved to couch, I transitioned into hard labor. I didn't know this. I thought I had a day to go. I had, of course, never done this before.

Susan asked if I was starting to feel any pressure. I said, "I guess so." Truthfully, it was kind of hard to tell, it was all so intense. Again, I had never done this before, what the hell do I know? Then Susan said,"'I think we should probably go to the hospital soon." Oh, good, that means I must only have 5 or 6 more hours of labor. I can do that.

Amos ate a big breakfast and offered me some food. No food for me, thanks. He finished packing the bag. I had this list in one of my pregnancy books of what to bring to the hospital. Amos was going off of that. He would look at the list as say, "Okay, shampoo." And then go and get the shampoo and put it in the bag. He'd then come back, pick up the book again, "Okay, deodorant." Then he would go back to the bathroom and find the deodorant. Not the most efficient packer under fire. But charming. The bag got packed. "Katy," Amos called, "Do you know where my black sweatshirt is?" "Sorry, sweetie. My uterine homing device is a little busy right now, you'll have to find it yourself." The sweatshirt (aptly printed with "Spawn Till You Die) was found. He told me he packed me several books and Scrabble. Susan told him she didn't think we would be playing any Scrabble.

Susan called the hospital to let them know we were coming and that we wanted a room with a big tub. Finally, I was going to get to take my first bath of my pregnancy! Yay! (Foreshadowing...I never got that bath) We got into our cars. We started toward the hospital and I thought I forgot my purse. Amos went back to the house. I hadn't forgotten my purse, it was in the bag. We started off again towards the hospital. At this point my contractions were so intense I was lifting off the seat and screaming like a Neanderthal (I actually don't know if Neanderthals screamed like this, but trust me, it was some primal shit.)

Thankfully, the hospital is only 8 minutes from our house, so we got there fairly quickly. Amos dropped me off at the emergency room entrance and parked the car. Susan took me up to Labor and Delivery while Amos registered me. When I got up to the L and D floor, I was wheeled into a room and I got up onto the bed. The nurse told me she was going to check to see how far along I was. When she did, she looked at me and said, "Okay, your baby's head is right here. The doctor is delivering another baby, so if you feel the need to push-don't." WHAT?! I thought I had 5 or 6 more hours! Where was Beth, my midwife? She was still at home, in her jammies- not going to get there in time. I had a contraction and felt the need to push, and just had to breathe through it.

Amos came in to the room and said, "Oh no, I forgot the birthing ball." Susan put her hand on his shoulder and said, "We aren't going to need the birthing ball. She's going to have this baby now." Amos' eyes got really big and he turned and walked to the opposite corner of the room. His back was to me and for a minute I thought he was using his cell phone, but then I realized his head was in his hands. He turned around and came right next to me. He was crying. For the record, not crying like he did at the wedding. No hysterical sobbing. Just tears. This was happening. Now.

Dr. Stell, a lovely doctor I had met when I was in the hospital in December came in the room. Amos asked her if he could catch the baby. She told him he could, if there was time. Another contraction. This time I pushed. As I was pushing, I thought, Oh God, I am not pushing the baby out, but I am about to poop on this table. I don't want to poop on the table! That would be too embarrassing! I thought about stopping. I tried to mentally rewire my pushing energy. Then I thought, Fuck it. I need to just push this baby out, poop or no poop. I pushed again and out she came in one fell swoop. No time for Amos to catch her. Dr. Stell put her on my chest. "Oh, Baby. Oh, Baby. Oh, Baby." I said over and over again. She was here! She didn't cry, she just kind of squeaked. 9 1/2 hours of labor, arriving at the hospital at 10:50am and giving birth at 11:11am. She was perfect and tiny and perfect. And she had so much hair! It was so dark! She was perfect. And AWESOME.

June Apple, born on January 15, 2011 at 11:11 am. She weighed 4 pounds, 12 1/2 ounces and was 18 1/2 inches long. AWESOME.

Awesome, indeed. Thank you, Katy for sharing your beautiful story. Cheers to short labors!

Birth Story - June Apple - Part 1

2011-05-21T08:30:00.000-04:00

Here is the second in the Baby Momma birth story series. June Apple! Her mom, Katy, 29, lives here in Louisville with her husband and June is their first child. Katy is a doctoral student and graduate assistant at U of L.

This birth story was originally published on Katy's blog You're Being Awesome Right Now and you can read lots more about June's journey into the world and experiences since there. Take it away, Katy!

Okay, so here's the how it all went down:

Earlier in the week I went to see my midwife, Beth, to have a non-stress test to make sure the baby was doing well and check her growth. Everything looked good, and Beth told me to expect a tiny, but healthy baby. She said that she thought the baby would weigh between 5 and 6 pounds and that I should buy preemie clothes. I resisted this, because we have so many clothes already and the newborn clothes look so so tiny. Friends said their 5-6 pound babies fit in newborn sizes, which fueled my resistance. But, on my way to my friend, Angela's house, on Friday, January 14th, I stopped by Walmart (yuck) because I had a gift certificate and needed a changing pad for the nursery (and then it would be near complete!). While at the Hell on Earth that is Walmart, I saw a preemie sleeper and I bought it. What the hell, it was 5 bucks. I then showed up at Angela's and announced, " Well, I bought a changing pad and a preemie outfit. I can now officially have the baby!" Famous last words.

Around 1:30 am Saturday, January 15th, I was lying in bed with Amos and he was tickling me. He does that. I am VERY ticklish and it drives me crazy. Which is why he does it. Anyhoo, I had just gotten up to go to the bathroom and returned to bed when he started to tickle me. I told him, "Please stop, because I am going to have to pee again." He tickled me again. " Great. Now I have to pee." I got up and started to literally pee my pants. Or so I thought. I waddled to the bathroom, embarrassed by my total lack of bladder control. But then it felt different. I thought, could this be my water breaking? I had just met with Susan, our doula, that day, and asked her how often women's water breaks before they go into labor. She said not very often. So needless to say, I thought maybe I had just peed my pants and if so, that is gross. I went back to bed and told, a now falling asleep Amos, "Either my water just broke or I have completely lost all bladder control." He said, half-asleep, "Just don't get any placenta on the floor." And then he fell asleep.

And then I started to have contractions. Okay. Here we go. I laid down in bed and Juliette jumped up and curled up on top of my belly. She NEVER does this. I continued to have contractions every few minutes, not too strong, for about an hour and Juliette purred contently on my belly the whole time.

Finally, around 2:30, I decided to call Susan and let her know what was happening. By the way, I had yet to wake Amos up, as I thought, well, if I am in labor, he might as well get as much rest as possible because this is going to be a long haul. My midwife told me to expect a labor similar to my mom's, which was 36 hours long. So I prepared for the long stretch. I called Susan. "I think my water broke." "You probably just peed your pants." "Oh, okay, that's what I thought." "Go back to bed and try and get some sleep." Well, I'm having contractions." "Oh. Well, you should still try and get as much rest as possible. Call me in the morning, or if your contractions get longer, stronger and closer together."

So I tried to lie down for a little bit, but then decided I should probably start packing my bag for the hospital. I did that for a little while and then lay down on the couch. Contractions started to get stronger and I found myself obsessively reading the paper that Susan had given me titled, "When to call your doula. When not to call your doula, and go straight to the hospital." I took a shower. I lay down. I walked around. I lay down.

At around 4:30am, I started to get anxious because I didn't feel her moving. A decrease in fetal movement was one of the reasons listed under "When not to call your doula and go straight to the hospital." I called Susan. She told me that sometimes in labor, babies get really quiet, as they need to conserve their energy for birth. She told me to drink a soda and lie down and see if that got her moving. She told me to try and rest as much as possible, to conserve my energy. The only soda we had in the fridge was a strawberry Jarrittos, a Mexican soda leftover from our Dia De Los Meurtos party in October. I drank it and lay down. I didn't notice a change, but the contractions were getting more intense, so I decided that everything was okay and that I would just try and focus on relaxing, as much as possible. My contractions were every 2-3 minutes and my method of pain management was to moan though them. Miraculously, I did manage to rest, pretty deeply, in between them. At around 7 am, I decided that I wanted to be in our bed, instead of on the couch. I went into our room and gently woke Amos. "Amos, I am in labor. If you want to keep sleeping, I would suggest that you move to the couch, because I may make some noise when I have a contraction." Then I had a contraction. "Shhhhh, "Amos said, half asleep. "Stop being so dramatic."

Now, when I have told this story to others, they gasp at this point and make some remark about how I must have wanted to kill him. No. In fact, upon hearing this, in the middle of my contraction, I burst out laughing. Which was wonderful. I'm guessing he didn't realize fully what was happening, as it was 7 in the morning, he had been out honky tonking the night before and he was still half-asleep. By my next contraction, I think it started to sink in a bit more. His friend Chuck called around 7:30 to see if Amos was ready to go hunting. As I was moaning loudly in the background, Amos said to Chuck, "Uh, I think Katy is going to have the baby soon, and she would probably kill me if I went hunting." Good call.

Susan had told me to call her when the pain got to be more than I could manage by myself. At about 8 am, I told Amos to call her. He said, "Why don't you wait 15 more minutes?" Okay.....5 minutes went by. Amos called Susan and told her I thought it was time for her to come over. I told Amos to call our parents.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of June's birth tomorrow!

Parenting in The Ville - Louisville's Mama's Hip

2011-05-18T19:55:00.000-04:00

{Image from Mama's Hip website}

I really can't believe I haven't written about Mama's Hip on Bardstown Rd. yet. The natural baby/parenting store is an excellent place to pick up kid and Earth friendly toys and supplies. They are experts on baby wearing and will hook you up with the perfect sling for you and your bambino. And they also know tons about cloth diapering, and even have a Cloth Diapering 101 class on the first Thursday of every month.

All these things are wonderful, but they are so much more than just baby retail. The provide a much needed community service. For one, they house the Louisville Breastfeeding Center where they offer lactation consulting, latch checks, baby weight checks and pump rental. They also have postpartum and birth doulas.

Mama's Hip also offers classes for you and your little one, including a Wee Rock! Music class, Mommy & Me yoga and play groups. Check their website for details.

Also, I highly recommend getting on their email list (which you can do by sending an email to shannonstone@mamas-hip.com). Not only will you get news regarding their classes, but they always give you the heads up about other baby related, awesome local businesses.

So lucky to have such a great resource in town!

Birth Story - Evan Alejandro

2011-05-18T19:16:00.000-04:00

{A recent photo of Evan courtesy of Sandra}

When I did my post a few weeks ago on Beckett's birth story, I mentioned I would be introducing a group of ladies I'm calling The Baby Mommas by having each of them tell you their own birth stories. This is the first of the amazing and varied stories from these lovely ladies.

Sandra, 31, lives with her husband and 10 month old son, Evan in Northwest, IN. She's an HR manager for a large company in Chicago. I love her birth story, especially her creative idea for finding out the gender. So without further adieu, here is the story of how Evan came to grace his family with his adorable face.

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for five months. We were racing the clock since my mother was terminally ill with cancer and I wanted more then ever for her to meet my child. In November of 2009 we finally had a positive test! We were ecstatic to say the least! My mother passed away in January but she knew my little boy was on his way into the world. Although we did not know the sex of our baby at the time she passed, she always referred to “him”. Aside from my mothers passing, my pregnancy was a breeze. No morning sickness, no stretch marks, no complications. So when others asked me if I was having my baby naturally I said, “yes, of course – no c-section over here."

At my 20 week ultrasound the tech asked us if we wanted to know our baby’s gender. We asked that she write the sex on the back of the ultrasound photo and place it in an envelope. We took our envelope straight to the bakery. Two hours later, we went and picked up our white and yellow decorated cake. Driving home from the bakery and holding the cake in my lap, I couldn’t believe our fate laid in the interior icing of this cake. When we arrived at our home, our family was waiting for us. We cut into our cake and there it was – icing the color of a blue Smurf!! We were having a boy!!

At 38 weeks, my doctor suggested that I take my maternity leave early since I had an hour commute to work every day. The thought of taking one week away from my time with my newborn baby didn’t sit right with me. I told her I would think about it. She politely told me I had no other option. I worked things out to where I’d be working form home until my due date and I was pretty excited about not having to get ready for work in the morning! I envisioned my house neatly organized (since I was nesting like crazy) and living in my leggings and yoga pants until our little bundle of joy arrived!

It was the 4^th of July and it was hot outside! I was exactly 16 days away from my due date. I remember literally rolling out of bed and getting ready to attend the cookouts that we were invited to. I had no desire to move, to be in the heat or to socialize – I did it for my husband who was looking forward to hanging out with friends. As I slipped on my silver flip flops, I recall looking down at my feet and thinking “can they get any bigger?”

At our first stop there was a in-ground pool and one of my friends asked if I was planning on getting in. Really? I passed. The day dragged on as I was a hot sweaty mother-to-be. Finally, our last stop! We arrived at my husband’s aunt’s house who was hosting a huge Graduation/Fourth of July party. The entire family was there, all 85 of them! I quickly found a seat under the tent and relaxed. My husband, being the social butterfly that he is, started to enjoy himself. I spotted the cooler loaded with water across the yard and began to make my way. As I stood up, there it was – my water had broke! There was no mistake, my shorts were soaked and it could not be anything else. Ok, I had to think fast! If I announce this the entire family will escort me to the hospital and that is something I know I did not want!

“Honey, I think we should go” I told my husband. He looked at me puzzled and said “Let me just play a few songs form the iPod then we’ll leave.” Then Ricky chimed in, “Yeah, what the rush? It’s not like you're in labor!” A few minutes later I whispered in my husband’s ear, “When I say we have to go, it’s for a reason." Once we made it to the car and I explained what happened I remembered my sister’s advice to take a shower before going to the hospital. Straight home to the shower I went!

Upon arriving at the hospital, I was checked in and set up in my birthing room and the waiting began. No pain, no contractions – nothing! We waited and waited for something and we got nothing. The nurses verified that my water had broken and started giving me Pitocin in my IV to start the contractions. Still we had nothing. We were going into our 24 hour wait and I was getting anxious and hungry! I wasn’t allowed to eat.

When my doctor arrived, we had been playing the waiting game for close to 36 hours. Then she dropped the bomb on me! “Looks like we are going to have to go the c-section route,” she said. What??? No!!! I am having this baby naturally (with and epidural of course)! Again, she politely told me I had no other option. Apparently if the baby is in the womb too long after the water breaks there is risk for infection. She told me to be ready in about a half hour. I had never been so physically scared in my entire life. I cried like the little baby I was about to have.

I was wheeled into the surgery room with my husband at my side and I was crying the entire time. The next thing I remember, I could not feel a thing from my waist down and I was super sleepy. Then I heard it – the sound of my newborn baby crying. Before even seeing him, I began crying some more. The doctor brought him to me and I asked if he was healthy. She said “a healthy baby boy." I took one look at him and feel in love. Then I was asleep.

I stayed in the hospital for an entire week to recuperate. Honestly, the c-section was not bad at all. The recovery was slow and I was fragile but I felt no labor pain like I expected to. Before I knew it, we were home with our baby boy Evan Alejandro. He was perfect and looking back so was my pregnancy. We are truly blessed to have such perfection added to our lives.

Beckett - 7 Months

2011-05-05T11:59:00.000-04:00

I was remiss in posting Beckett's 7 month photos last week. We are in some serious need of data transfer to an external hard drive and the lovely photos from our camera won't download. So here are a few from my phone.

He sits up now. He says mama and nigh-nigh, but I'm rather sure doesn't know their meaning. H is working hard on getting him to say dada. da. da. dada. (over and over). He loves peas and carrots, sweet potatoes, apple sauce and just about anything else we put in front of him.

{Photo by Linz Dobson}

I think the sign language is starting to take hold. He pumps his hand while he's nursing, almost making the sign for milk, but hasn't jumped to using it to ask for it yet. Soon! He amazes me.

And seriously, could he be any cuter?

Coming Out of the Co-Sleeping Closet

2011-05-01T22:37:00.001-04:00

We co-sleep. Not with a crib in our room or a co-sleeper attached to our bed. Becks sleeps in our bed, in between me and a guardrail. There. Now it's out in the open. Think what you will.

People are very touchy on this subject. Even very pro-attachment parenting people are against co-sleeping. It gets a pretty bad rap in the news, I will admit. Tragedies have happened, precautions aren't taken and a child gets pinned and suffocated. It's horrible, but tragedies happen in cribs also.

Initially, my issues with it were simply - I like my space when sleeping and want to be free to toss about as much as I like. When planning for Beckett, we were going to put him in a bassinet next to our bed for the first few months and transition him to his crib when he was a bit older.

HA! Wait. I just need to compose myself. Okay. I'm better. Oh those naive days when we thought we'd be making the decisions. In the first month we quickly learned that Beckett slept very well as long as one of us was holding him, but as soon as we put him down, he'd wake. He was eating every 2 hours on the dot. I was severely sleep deprived. One day while nursing him in the afternoon, I was laying on my side and drifted off to sleep. Turns out, so did Beckett and we slept peacefully for over three hours. It was the longest stretch he'd slept since he was born. And the co-sleeping began.

I kept thinking I would start to transfer him to his crib once he got a bit bigger and didn't need to nurse as much. Winter came and our old, drafty apartment wouldn't even get up to 62 degrees some nights. He needed my body heat at that point. He was only 6 lbs at birth and is such a little mover that he hasn't gained that fast. He wouldn't be warm enough alone.

At first I didn't tell anyone. The first thing they said to me in the hospital, was DON'T SLEEP WITH YOUR BABY IN YOUR BED. I don't like to break rules and I certainly didn't want to put my child in danger. I would even travel with our Pack and Play as if I was going to actually put him in it. I wasn't trying to intentionally lie to our hosts. On some level I even thought maybe tonight will be the night he sleeps alone. Of course it never was. But in the mean time, he was sleeping, I was sleeping. Why was this bad again?

I started to do some research and not only is it the preferred sleeping option of attachment parenting advocates, but the Dr. Sears's books highly recommend it. I love the Dr. Sears's library of books and it boosted my confidence. It turns out there are many benefits for both mom and baby, such as increased bonding and even breathing and heart beat regulation.

He's getting bigger now and is sleeping a lot more during the night. Also weather dictates our actions again - this place stays about as cool in the summer as it does warm in the winter, so having our own space will probably be more comfortable. I have mixed feelings on transitioning him, because while I do want more of my own space, I love snuggling with my little guy. But I feel like it might be time to at least begin for all of our sakes.

My plan is to put him down in his crib at night and bring him into bed with us when he wakes up to feed. Eventually he'll sleep through the night. It might take a while, but that's okay with me. I doubt when I'm at the end of my life, I will look back and wish I had spent less time with my darling boy.

Thoughts On Balance

2011-04-20T19:51:00.001-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about balance lately. It started because I have been unsuccessfully trying to resurrect my yoga practice for months now. While marinating on why, I realized I am having difficultly reconciling time for "my" things (writing, yoga...brushing my teeth) with my Beckett time, my time with H and my time for household things.

I am very lucky. I have a total 50/50 partner in H and I work from the house, although on a 9 to 5 type of schedule, not at my leisure. I'm very good at compartmentalizing that time in my day. When I'm working, I'm working. I may occasionally pop into the other room to see Beckett performing his latest developmental feat or just kiss his blond head, but for the most part I stay in my office with the door shut. This is not my time, someone is paying me to do a job.

Without really meaning to I have put "my" things on lowest priority. If Beckett is throwing a fit before bed and I know only nursing will calm him, but I haven't washed my face yet, I skip it. If he's had a late nap and just won't go down for the evening. I play with him, no matter what else I had planned. I'm cool with that. It's what mom's do.

But where is the line? What can I forgo to write a blog or fit in a yoga class? The dishes? Grocery shopping? Sleep? And is it selfish to even want to have more me time, when I have an amazing life already? I always feel like it implies that H needs to pick up the slack and that makes me feel guilty.

I'm not the super-mom type. I mean really, I am in awe of those women who have three kids, a career that involves client meetings, business suits and STILL make it to the gym four times a week. I'm assuming there is a lot of take out involved, perhaps hired help. I'm okay with not being that personality type. I just have to figure out exactly what type I am now that my priorities have shifted.

I do know being Beckett's mom is at the top of the list, right up there with being H's best friend and partner. But then what? And where do I fit it in? Is (almost) 32 super late to be contemplating all this?

Did I mention the yoga studio is across the street? And yet I haven't even made it through the door.

Scenes From the Weekend - Miracle Blankets & Baby Ice Cream

2011-04-11T19:04:00.000-04:00

Image: Company Website

We had April showers for much of last week, but yesterday was lovely - 80 and sunny. A perfect day for the first cook out of the year (and Beckett's first ever!). Although our friends who threw it don't have children, they were well prepared for their tiny guests. A newly installed tree swing and sliced grapes for the toddlers and baby friendly ice cream! More on that in a moment.

I love meeting new people and especially talking with other parents. They always have some insight for us newbies or, in this case, a product recommendation we'd never heard of. When one of the moms I met this weekend told me that the secret to her child sleeping for 8 hours a night was the Miracle Blanket, I immediately Googled it. It's sort of like the Fort Knox of swaddling blankets. She even went home and got her's to show me how it worked she loves it so much.

We are considering it for Beckett, who at 6 months, should be out of a swaddle, but without one he wakes his self up by rubbing his eyes. (Any one have any advice on stopping that, please, please comment.) So the Miracle Blanket may be just the thing.

Our host, Mark, whipped out a baby friendly dessert for the kiddos that Beckett loved. He's just beginning solids, but bananas have been high on the list for weeks now. So this "ice cream" was a huge hit. Mark shared the recipie with me, which I will pass along to you.

Peel one or several bananas. Freeze. Puree in blender. That's it! Not too complicated right?

I have heard of doing this before, as a vegan treat, but never even thought about applying it to the baby food list. Beckett was totally interested in the texture and the cold in his mouth. He couldn't get enough. We'll have to keep a few bananas in the freezer for an occasional special treat.

Thanks Mark & Meghan for a great day!

Birth Story - Beckett Laughlin - Part 2

2011-04-05T20:59:00.001-04:00

As soon as the nurse proclaimed that we had a head full of hair and this was happening - now! - plugs were yanked out of the wall and I was wheeled to a labor and delivery room, leaving Hillary in the dust. I yelled to him as I was pushed down the hall. Call my mom...and Nicole!

I was elated! It was labor! I didn't have to go through all of this again. It was short in labor terms, but it was the longest night of my life. Almost non stop pain and too much uncertainty. Our midwife got there just in time and proclaimed she couldn't believe we were in labor, she thought for sure she was coming in for an emergency C-section based on her info from the nurses. Our doula arrived in no time and was right there encouraging me and taking photos - which we'd agreed upon beforehand.

I pushed for about 50 minutes. H was a champ. He knew exactly what I needed without me saying it and I didn't get annoyed with him even once. I've been told I was in good spirits and even joked with the nurses in between pushes. I do remember making fun of H, but the rest is pretty fuzzy.

I remember being very focused and knowing that if I could just get through that part...it would be the hardest, but it was almost over. Then I had a baby on my chest. His little head was so cone shaped H said he looked like Marge Simpson. He was kind of blueish. I think my first words to him, my son, were, "Hello! Who are you?" And he has been revealing exactly who that is to us ever since.

I held him for a few moments while post birth things took place. People swirled around us. H and I just stared at our 6 pound, 4 ounce lil' Beckett. He was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen. Then I began to feel it. That all too familiar feeling of the walls closing in and I knew I was going to pass out. I had noticed quite a bit of blood loss in the moments after delivery, but I had no idea how much was supposed to come with the afterbirth. Turns out, not as much as I was losing.

I told Hillary he better take the baby because I needed to pass out now. As soon as Becks was out of my arms I lost consciousness. It was a post-natal hemorrhage because my body was expecting more of a slow build up instead of the lightening speed that it took to bring B into the world. I don't think I was out long and some Pitocin to help everything contract was all it took to get me right again. I was fine with interventions now that Beckett was on the outside. Morphine drip? Oh, I have to be in pain to get one of those...yeah, I knew that, never mind.

We spent two lovely days in the hospital. Less glamorous then the Four Seasons, but my senses were heightened - This chocolate pudding with whip cream is the best thing I've ever tasted. I don't even like pudding! Nothing to do but rest, recover, receive visitors and get to know our little guy. I loved being in the hospital as a non-ill person.

Then we brought him home and the real work started! As much of a surprise as it was, we ended up getting exactly the birth that we wanted. Well, I didn't get my moments of zen, but I did it with no drugs or interventions and we ended up with a perfectly healthy, gorgeous baby boy.

** All photos by Nicole Zirnheld Aldridge - our amazing doula.

Birth Story - Beckett Laughlin - Part 1

2011-04-04T19:31:00.000-04:00

I'm introducing a new blog feature here on the Manifesta called The Baby Mommas. They are a group of wonderful women who have all had a baby within the last year, but live very different lives and have different parenting styles. They will be a panel of go-to experts that I'll check in with every few months to see what decisions they are making and what their opinions are on hot parent related topics. I'll be introducing them over the next few months with their birth stories. I thought I would kick it off with Beckett's birth story. Seems fitting since it was his 6 month birthday last week.

Even before I was pregnant I knew I wanted a natural birth - no drugs, no interventions and certainly no C-section. When the time came H and I trained like we were getting ready to run a marathon. We enrolled in a Bradley Method class that was a few hours every Sunday for about 8 weeks. This was no Cliff's Notes version of labor prep. We did our homework and strength exercises. I began appointments with the midwives at a local hospital and we hired a doula. All of this was necessary for me, after all, labor can be just as long and taxing as a marathon and I didn't want to set myself up for failure. If I needed to go a medicated route for the baby's sake or for a reason beyond my control, okay, but I wanted to do everything I could to make sure I finished the race the way I wanted to finish it.

I had a birth plan - I wanted to labor in a warm water bath with dim lights in the room. I wanted to be able to move freely throughout the room and not be tethered to the bed. Nicole, our doula, would make sure we had cool cloths and suggest new positions if things got rough. H would be there as my support and comedy relief. I wanted honey sticks and dove dark chocolate for energy boosts. It would be as relaxing and nurturing as possible.

Becks, however, had his own birth plan, which went something like - get me the hell out of here! Just shy of 37 weeks I suspected I was leaking amniotic fluid. I spoke with my doula, and we waited for contractions to start. After 48 hours, when they hadn't, we went to the hospital. We were sent home. They didn't know what it was, but it was NOT amniotic fluid. Wrong. But that's okay, because if they had discovered that it was amniotic fluid, they would have most likely induced me and that would have been an intervention, which I didn't want. So H and I went home, feeling secure we had three weeks back to put the finishing touches on things before our baby boy arrived.

My parents were in town for the weekend, we went to dinner, brunch and they left with the promise that as soon as labor started we would call and they would make the five hour trip back down. That evening, a Sunday, I started contractions. They were light and lasted about 8 minutes a piece, so I thought they were braxton hicks - because, as I'd learned, contractions last 1 to 2 minutes in the beginning. We went to bed. Contractions got stronger, so I got up. At about 11:00 p.m. I woke Hilary because the contractions were very strong and very long - lasting up to twenty minutes. When we timed them they were three minutes apart. I just kept thinking - this can't be labor - this is NOT what contractions are like.

We spoke with our doula several times and at about 2:00 a.m. we decided to go to the hospital. I was imediately hooked up to the contraction monitor and the monitor for the baby's heartbeat. The worst part was that I had to lay still for them to get a reading and all I wanted to do was move. The pain was too much to be still. Their monitors were not registering my contractions. And the most frightening part was that they couldn't find the baby's heart beat. It turns out it was because he was so far into the birth canal.

When I arrived at 2:00 a.m. I was 0 cm dialated. All I could think at that moment was SHIT! This is going to be a long ride. After about an hour of them trying to get a reading of the baby's heartbeat they offered me a grape popcicle. I took one look at it and threw up everywhere. I had the shakes and was completely clammy. I thought - these are all the signs of transition. But the nurse asked me what I had eaten that day because food poisioning was going around. Still no one was admiting that I was in labor.

Unfortuneatly I didn't trust my gut. I thought - well they must know what they're talking about. So we didn't call our doula and we didn't call our families. At about 3:30 a.m. they did an ultrasound to check on the baby and still I was strapped to the table. I was in horrible pain - it was like one long contraction at this point. Finally Hillary insisted that I be allowed to stand up. They unstrapped me and I went straight to lean on Hillary. It was a relief, but also brought stronger pain.

I looked at him and said - If this isn't really labor, I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle the real thing. He kissed my forehead and then I leaned on the bed because I felt like I had to push. But no...I can't be pushing, this has to be something else. I was 0 cm not even 2 hours ago. No one had told me that yes, in fact you are in labor. I was still in triage! But there it was again, the urge to push. I went to the bathroom to no avail.

The nurse decided to check me again and low and behold she yelled to a nurse outside of the curtain - I have 10 cm and a head full of hair!

To Be Continued...

**All photos by our wonderful doula - Nicole Zirnheld Aldridge

The Woombie - If I'd Only Known

2011-03-29T20:15:00.000-04:00

Beckett had some sleep issues near the beginning. What am I talking about? He still has sleep issues! But when he was brand new, he would only sleep when he was swaddled (although he hated the action of actually being swaddled) and if he was in his swing. Those are two things that don't reconcile because the swaddle doesn't allow the baby to be strapped in properly. Enter the Leggies Woombie. Genius!

Our other problem was that once Beckett awoke, he would worm his little arms out and unswaddle the blankets. Our little Houdini. Presh... or not. These things look pretty wiggle proof. And they come in so many colors and styles.

They also have an organic version! I am loving this company. Has anyone tried one of these? How did it work for you?

**All images from the Woombie website.

Beckett - 6 Months

2011-03-27T22:25:00.001-04:00

He's officially a blondie! He still has some dark, new born hair in the back and some long stragglers that haven't fallen out yet, but every day I notice a thicker layer of baby chick hair growing up top. He could not look more like his father.

This month he got the hang of rice cereal and loves it, experimented with some banana and avocado, started making consonant sounds - he's got the ba's and ma's down as of yesterday - and perfected the art of rolling over in all directions. He can sit up on his own, if he's in any position but flat on his back, and enjoys sharing his spit covered fingers by shoving them into the mouth of who ever is holding him. Nummers.

I can't believe he's been with us for half of a year, time is really flying. Now I know what my mom always meant.

Give Wraps from Chewing the Cud

2011-03-24T20:30:00.001-04:00

Growing up my mom always wrapped gifts in scraps of leftover fabric from her designs and creations. Even now she always has home made gift bags that get reused holiday after holiday, although she always puts a new spin on them with ribbons or bows. She is my Earth Martha.

I took this inventive and ecological action for granted. But when I moved out of my parents house, I quickly realized that since I neither sew, nor craft, excess fabric is hard to come by and I did the walk of shame down the wrapping paper aisle. That's why I was delighted to see these adorable Give Wraps from Chewing the Cud.

Made from organic cotton and printed with soy ink, who could ask for a more perfect wrapping to put the finishing touch on the gift you worked so hard to pick out.

Alice Mae

2011-03-17T16:30:00.000-04:00

Born one week ago yesterday to our best friends, Alice Mae. She's just as pretty and sweet as can be. It's true little girls are made of everything nice. A built in bestie for Beckett, I can't wait to see them grow together and learn from each other.

Congrat's Linz and Matt. I'm so glad the four of us are taking this ride together.

Beckett - 5 Months

2011-03-04T20:22:00.000-05:00

What amazing changes my little B is going through. About midway through last month he went from babbling and "singing" all the time to being the quietest little baby. And just around that same time he began making huge leaps in hand-eye coordination. He grabs (and gets) just about anything now. So adorable...until he ripped the glasses off my face, but still kind of adorable.

He rolls over, both ways and sits unassisted. He is noticing so much more about his surroundings. He follows the cats around the room, he watches his dad doing dishes and he even stops nursing to see what the clicking noise is over his shoulder, which of course, is me typing away on the laptop. It's amazing to watch.

He's lost most of his dark hair, except for the ring around the back of his head and over his ears - the toilet bowl, in male pattern baldness speak. All of the new little sprouts are blond, making him look even more like his father. If that were possible.

Then just a few days ago, he started talking again, loud and clear. I'm so happy to have his little voice filling the house again. It's music to my ears.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Adventures in CSAing

2011-02-26T12:54:00.000-05:00

{H's awesome pizza creation, pre oven}

Last November H and I signed up for our local CSA's (Community Supported Agriculture) winter subscription and it has been such a wonderful experience. We are lucky enough to have access to an amazing company, Grasshoppers Distribution, who works as a middle man between local farmers and people like us. So we have access to eggs, dairy, produce and even local meats, if you are so inclined, which we aren't, because we're vegetarians (Actually H is not technically, but is by default when we are at home.)

{Mischa likes to watch H work}

He has been doing much of the cooking lately. I love to cook, but when I'm finished with work, I like to spend the evenings with Becks and since H has spent the entire day with him, it's a nice trade off.

The CSA has really inspired us to try new things. At the beginning of the winter season we were getting tons of cabbage, sweet potatoes, daikon radishes, kale and squash. It was perfect for chunky, veggie filled soups, creamy purees and spicy chilies.

{The finished product - so yummy!}

Towards the end of the season we were getting more canned goods, but still some greens, potatoes and squash. H was inspired to make this pizza with homemade crust and sauce. I was totally impressed. He topped it off with spinach sauteed in garlic (both local), mozzarella cheese and, on my half, local blue cheese.

We signed up for shares of produce, eggs, cows milk cheese and bread for the winter season. Spring sign up is just around the corner and I'm looking forward to sampling the veggies of the season and trying some more local goodness!

Covet

2011-02-17T20:09:00.000-05:00

{the canvas boardwalk brogue - madewell}

I am a very lucky girl. I have a stay-at-home-husband. (He prefers writer, director, producer/stay-at-home-husband.) He does a smashing job of taking care of our precious babe, keeping house and somehow still managing to cook for both of us, much of the time. This does mean, however, that the money I bring in is pretty well parsed out with not a ton left over for non-necessities.

This brings about a lot of wishing on my part. Like for these lovely pair of oxfords from Madewell. I have my sites set on just about everything from Madewell, actually. But when we get that HUGE tax return for being married and having spawned (fingers crossed) these little babies are first on my list.

He Fights The Law...And Always Wins

2011-02-10T08:24:00.000-05:00

My child is lawless. He goes by no man's rules. Some parents may be under the impression that they are in control of the relationship between them and their child. Beckett never gave my husband and I even a hint in that direction. From the very moment he came into this world he did it with his own personal style.

He was 3 weeks early, my water broke 3 days before I had a contraction, which ended up lasting between 18 and 25 minutes a piece (I mean...seriously?!). Then I went from 0 cm dialated to 10 in two measly hours, which yes, is fast, but that makes it hurt only that much more (and here is where I brag and say I had no drugs or interventions of any kind thankyouverymuch). I should have known then...

I am a person who likes rules, facts and absolutes. I like to be able to look things up in a book (or more likely online) and have the answer there in front of me. Doing research is how I make a living. I have an English degree and half of my MFA work was pretty much researching and writing lit papers. So when I was pregnant I needed info. H and I took a birthing class that was 12 three hour sessions and FULLY prepared us for our child's birth. And then Beckett blew it all out of the water. Even the nurses and doctors were surprised by our birth.

And as he develops he just keeps surprising us. He started teething at 3 months. At four months he still nurses, every 2 hours, which makes sense because he is constantly in motion and burns calories like crazy. Hence the rice cereal picture above, we thought it might help fill him up a bit so he can nap a little longer - but after 2 weeks of trying every day, he will not eat it. Makes a face like we're spooning him pureed liver. I adore that face...and every other one he makes.

He makes me laugh and I have a quota of one million kisses a day, that I usually exceed. While it seems like there should be a power struggle between us and little-mister-do-it-my-way, H and I are perfectly happy to take our queues from him at this point. He is teaching me to put down the books and just use my gut. It's a hard lesson for me, and let's face it, I'm not going to stop reading the books, just in case he does something on a normal timeline, I wouldn't want to miss it. But I am learning that I need to use the information as a spring board and let my parenting instinct, something I'm currently honing, take over.

Beckett - 4 Months

2011-02-01T21:12:00.001-05:00

I have a 4 month old! I meant to post this over the weekend, but I caught the plague and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow.

Here's my little man. I can't believe he's only been in my life for 4 months. I can't even remember what it was like without him.

Loving...

2011-01-31T19:51:00.000-05:00

For almost all months, except for maybe July and August when Louisville is at it's stickiest, I have been completely converted to oils vs. lotion for moisturizer. That is all thanks to Marie Veronique Organics.

I began using their face regiment almost a year ago now and LOVE the results. So I'm completely excited that they have introduced a body moisturizer to their line. I will be scooping this charming little glass bottle up very soon!

Baby Shower Maddness

2011-01-22T08:47:00.015-05:00

I am not very artsy. I write, I take mediocre photos, but I don’t generally create tangible arts or crafts. That is something I have been thinking about working on changing.

Last weekend I threw my best friend, Lindsey, a baby shower and I figured what better place to start being tangibly creative. She threw me an amazing friends shower and we all made tie-dyed onesies. It was such a fun project and Beckett wears one almost every day.

{The lovely Linz and a few gifts}

I wanted to do something along those lines – a fun project for my guests that Lindsey and Baby Girl would benefit from. Our friend, Kati, sent me a little inspiration in link form and I began preparing everything we’d need to decorate onesies with personally created, iron-on appliqués and (store bought) letters.

The ladies over at Off Beat Mama did an excellent job explaining how to pull this off. I would only add a few things, such as buying scraps from the fabric store is an excellent and cost effective way to get a variety of fabrics, if you don’t already have a stock pile, because you are not, as previously stated, crafty. Also the little flocked, iron on letters are super cute, but take a lot longer to adhear to the fabric than the iron-on fabric does. Also, tell your guests to remove the paper backing from the fabric after they have cut out their designs, but before they iron it onto the onesie…that really helps.

{Cindy at our well used work station}

I had no doubt that our friends would come up with some amazing designs and I was so right. Check out the full set of photos here.

{I made this one!}

Cities

2011-01-04T12:37:00.005-05:00

{Beckett at 3 months}

So I'm a mom now. Beckett was born on September 27, 3 weeks early and as you can see from the picture he is growing fast and I am thoroughly enjoying him. I seriously can't get enough of his little face. He lays asleep in my arms and I scroll through pictures of him on my phone just to see his funny expressions. I could write post after post about my new adventures in motherhood, and probably will, but the new year has me thinking of other things.

No, not resolutions. Those are too much pressure. I do have some goals (write a Manifesta post at least 2 times a week, only let every other book I read be about babies or parenting, learn to knit, etc...) but these are more of a loose outline of things to accomplish, and certainly not resolute. January has me taking stock in my life and thinking about where I am currently and how I came to be here - in a locational sense.

My formative years were spent in a far flung suburb of Chicago (over the Indiana border). While I have fond memories there, I love it only because of the people I find there. It did make me know that living in a strip mall ridden, subdivided, mcmansion ridden town was not what I wanted in the long term. And Ball State was a blast, but Muncie, IN has only a child's handful of gems in it's crap hole of a town.

The metropolis's of my life have been my real learning and growing experiences. Chicago energizes me like no other city I've ever lived in or visited. I spent a majority of my twenties living in amazing neighborhoods, going to Roosevelt University where I met people and took courses that changed my view of the world. I had the kind of romantic moments that made my girlfriends squeal with excitement and others that were so special, I may never share them with anyone. I learned who I was and what I wanted and I sometimes wonder if those things would have been different if I'd been living somewhere else.

Los Angeles, despite it's smog issues, has a way of refreshing me. It clears my head and makes life seem shiny and bright. I'm sure it has a lot to do with all that sunshine. I moved there for a person, not the city itself, but I found a place, with the help of some good friends and a little digging, that had fabulously unpretentious restaurants, hidden markets and hole-in-the-wall wine bars. I became an adult there - I got engaged, married and pregnant. But more importantly my husband and I figured out exactly what we wanted for our lives...okay, not exactly, but we figured out some of the larger puzzle pieces.

And that brings me to Louisville. I have to say, this city feels like home. It is a settled feeling, but not in the way you were never going to be as a teenager, more like a feather swoops to and fro through the air until it finally comes to rest gently on the ground. This city is filled with art, good food, music and great bars. There is plenty of suburban sprawl, but not in the majority of the city. We've positioned ourselves so things are walkable, which is important to me - a layover from Chicago life, which I missed in LA. I like knowing I'm in a place I will be for a long time, the place where I'll raise my children. It may not be my last city, but I have a feeling it will be the one I spend the longest in.

Do Fun Stuff!

2010-08-29T23:10:00.005-04:00

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I am a bit of a blog maven, but mostly I just scroll, skim, scroll scroll skim. I have exactly 2 blogs that I read every post top to bottom and am always pleased that I did. Ryan Marshall's blog, Pacing the Panic Room, is one of them. It inspires me to make my own blog better (even if most of my improvements are still in my head) and his content is always uplifting in some way, plus he has an adorable family and I can't get enough of his photos.

So when he put the call out for bloggers to spread the word about the launch of a kids album he curated to raise money for Smith Magenis Syndrome (click the 'Our Cause' button above the monster to learn more), which his step-son was diagnosed with last year - I knew I had to be a part of it.

Awesomely, 100% of the proceeds from the album, Do Fun Stuff, go to research. And if you don't feel like you need a kids album or would like to contribute more than the $9.99, the "Make A Donation" button is for you. Ryan has said in his blog that it's kids music for adults and I totally agree. Always A Blue Sky by Rabbit! is one of my favs. I'm sure our new little one will love it. I can't wait to play it for him!

Check it out and get yours on iTunes by clicking the blue button on the interactive monster.

Freedom of Body

2010-08-27T18:40:00.000-04:00

First let me say that I want to give no one the impression that I am at all ungrateful for the wonderful pregnancy that I've had. I have really enjoyed the experience and am so excited to meet the little person that is constantly squirming about in my gigantic belly. But just for a moment, I need to air just this one little thing that has been growing larger and larger in the back of my mind this week - week 33 of this process. I want my body back.

I don't mean I want the shape of it back, although being able to bend over again will be lovely, I mean I want control over my body again. Mainly, I want the right to abuse it as I see fit. The week before we found out we were pregnant we visited Foxen Winery and I have a bottle of their Cabernet stashed in a cabinet and it's calling to me. I want to drink it, the whole thing and not share with anyone.

I want coffee! Not a cup of coffee. I want so much caffeine coursing through my veins I can't keep my teeth from chattering. And cheeses, chunks of veiny blue Gorgonzola, oozey brie and the goat cheese from the guy at the farmers market who taunts me with his free samples. And I can't wait until I can eat a peanut butter sandwich without contracting heartburn so bad I have to call the fire department because flames shoot out every time I open my mouth.

Today in a stressful, pitiful moment I laid my head against H's chest and said, "I want a glass of Grey Goose on ice, so frozen it pours like syrup, and 4 blue cheese olives." He kissed me on the head and said in his most sympathetic voice, "Oh baby. You're an alcoholic." Which 8 hours later is still making me giggle because it's been 8 months! (Okay, so for the first 4 I didn't know I was pregnant and probably had some wine - sorry little man.) But seriously 7 months! That's over half a year without an ounce of alcohol passing over my lips.

The other day H and I drove by a pasture with a blindfolded horse in the middle of it. I immediately burst into uncontrollable sobs because I assumed the horse was blind and all the little starving children in the world combined were not as sad to me as a blind horse at that moment. Turns out it's just screening to keep the flies out of the horses eyes, he wasn't even blind. So yes, I am excited to return to some semblance of a rational person again.

7 weeks - that's nothing. I can do this. Clearly. It's my child and I'd do anything for him and he's not even here yet. But still...I want.

Sweet Dreams Are Not Made of This

2010-06-30T19:25:00.000-04:00

{Photo by: HDR}

It's pretty well known, at least among pregnant women and women who talk to those women, that pregnancy can make your dreams pretty bonkers. I began looking into this a bit, because I love dreaming and especially love when I can remember them. It's such a nice break from reality. In my research I started to come across a few things that said dreams about ex-boyfriends or flings or just crushes can become super frequent towards the end of the 2nd trimester and even more so during the 3rd.

I asked my go-to pregnancy posse about this and most of them confirmed that it's not just dreams with those guys (or girls) in them, but they are like hot, steamy, way-better-than-it-ever-was-in-real-life kind of dreams. So I was like - bring it! I have, for the most part, good relationships with all the guys I've dated and I was interested to see where the old subconscious would take it.

I'm wrapping up my 2nd trimester here and low and behold, my dreams start getting more vivid and memorable and bang! my nights are visited by ghosts of dating past. Here are some of the juicy details (names omitted to protect the innocent, of course) -

I'm sitting in a life guard stand at the beach on a fall evening, wrapped in my date's hoodie to keep away the evening chill. I break my gaze from the full moon's reflection on the water to look into my guy's eyes...which are full of tears. I realize he's crying and explaining why in two weeks I'm going to tell him it's not working out because of our age difference, but in reality he knows it's because he's overbearing and he makes me feel like the oxygen has been cut off to the room whenever we're alone - but not in a good way. WHAT? The man speaks the truth, but where's the hotness??

I've had two more since that one, involving two different guys and both have been my brain just rehashing the crappy stuff from real life. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not like starved for passion or anything. I was just really curious to see what residual stuff was still lurking in the crevices of my psyche. I mean, I'm pretty practical and pragmatic in my day to day, don't I deserve to enjoy a bit of torrid dreaminess?

Please brain, spare me from the next time I have to sit with the dream version of an ex and write a list of the reasons why it would have never worked between us. I'd just as soon lose that dream to the night and not wake with the memory.

Welcome to Boy-ville

2010-06-11T10:59:00.000-04:00

{Make of this what you will.}

Last week my husband and I found out that our first child will officially be a boy. He began celebratory dancing immediately and even now will occasionally break into an impromptu song directed at "his baby boy" in my belly. For me, however, the news took a moment to settle in. It's not that I was disappointed that I was carrying a male child, although I did need a moment to kiss all those cute little dresses and hair bows goodbye. It was more that I was stunned. This whole time I had been 100% positive it was a girl. I don't think I gave more than a fleeting thought to the fact that it could actually, in fact, be a boy. Silly, I realize, since there was a 50/50 chance, but true none the less.

Now that I've had some time to think about it, it's really kind of strange that girl was my default assumption. When I was in high school and college I mostly hung out with the guys. I like Sci-Fi, collecting vinyl records, watching Star Wars and reading comics. Not that these are strictly dude activities, but they aren't considered 'girly.' On the other hand, I love fashion and make-up and shoe shopping (again, not strictly for girls, but you get my drift). Clearly if he's arty, nerdy or gay we'll get along swimmingly.

So now I feel good and I'm really excited to meet the little guy. I have day dreams of outnumbering H and getting to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy again and again. And I feel super stoked that I don't have to explain why Barbie isn't an appropriate female role model or deal with a Disney Princess phase. Of course, if he wants to dress up like Cinderella, far be it from me to stop him.

But what if he's sporty? Baseball is about as far as I go in the realm of sportsdom. But I can always learn the rules of whatever sport he's into, so I don't cheer at the wrong time while I'm sitting in the stands. Then I'll make sure he practices his piano when he gets home at night. Because well rounded is really the goal, right?

The more I think about it, raising compassionate, emotionally balanced boys is just as important as raising strong, independent girls and I'm happy to take on the task, no matter what his interests are. Now if he one day declares himself a republican, that's a whole different ballgame.

Loving Louisville - A Case For Small Cities Everywhere

2010-05-26T17:21:00.000-04:00

{via}

I'm finally awakening from a long blogging slumber. Real life, however, has been far from restful, however exciting. Back in February H and I found out we're expecting our first child - much more on that later - we're very excited, to say the least. Then at the end of March we picked up our lives and moved from Los Angeles to Louisville, KY.

Whenever we told anyone about our plan, the first question we always got was a simple - why? There are really so many answers to that question. So here are a few...

The Obvious -

Our best friends live here and within a few hours drive of here. H's parent's are just across the river (they have a pool! and like to feed us) and my family is a half day's car ride, easy enough for weekend jaunts.

The Big Picture -

LA gets a bad wrap, but it grew on us and ended up feeling like home. It will always be the place where H and I started our lives together and that's special. But we had some goals for the long term that we couldn't see happening there. They all stem from our need to live more sustainably. We want to own a home, exponentially easier to do in the Ville. Homes in LA are outrageously priced and it would take a big down payment and some serious pay hikes to afford a mortgage there.

We want a decent size yard - room for a vegetable garden and maybe some urban chickens (popular here). H has aspirations to create big things - large sculpture and furniture, so a garage or shed, even a basement would be awesome. These are things we couldn't see ourselves accomplishing while apartment living.

While resources need to be conserved the world around, we couldn't justify living in an over-populated city that didn't have enough resources, namely water, to support us.

The Connection

I was longing for a greater connection, and I don't mean in a skipping the line on a Saturday night at the club kind of way. We have friends and acquaintances here who are doing amazing things. I can count on two hands how many of our friends own their own businesses and are working towards making this community stronger and shaping it into one they want to live in. H and I plan on joining these ranks eventually, but I already feel a connection to this place, the community and the world around me by just being a part of it all.

The Unexpected

What we didn't expect was to be so busy. This city is truly a happening place. In the 2 months we've been here we've attended a variety show, a play, 2 movie premiers (Carbon Nation & Typeface - find both however you can), a fireworks show more intense than any I've ever experienced, an art fair and some truly amazing restaurants. There is so much going on all the time, we haven't had one free weekend. It's fantastic!

I really haven't missed Los Angeles even once. So here's to Louisville and all it's charm and culture. It's a perfect hybrid of big city and an affordable, liveable neighborhood. I'm so happy to be here.

Elsewhere

2010-02-23T21:55:00.000-05:00

{Priti Polish}

Just in case you aren't a Fan of the Manifesta on Facebook or don't follow the tweets, here's a little round up of my blogging elsewhere on the interwebs.

Blush

Eco-fashion sale roundup - http://blog.blush.com/index.php/eco-fashion-with-a-sale-tag/

Living Green with Glamour - (find me there every Tuesday with eco-beauty tips)

Spring nail polish colors - http://www.livinggwg.com/beauty/jumpstart-your-spring-look-with-pretty-polish/

DIY beauty products - http://www.livinggwg.com/beauty/diy-beauty-simple-make-at-home-skin-remedies/

Love struck (little late for V Day, but these things still apply for various occasions) - http://www.livinggwg.com/beauty/1498/

Gardein & Field Roast Comment on GMOs in Their Products

2010-01-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

Just last week (or so) I wrote about my concern for GMOs and wondered if they were being used to make a few of my favorite meat alternatives - Gardein and Field Roast. I emailed both of the companies to find out and they both responded. Below are the emails they sent me:

From Laurel at Gardein -

"Thanks for your email and your inquiry about our gardein™ products. Our products are non-gmo as we only use 'identity-preserved' soy protein (which basically means, it helps to ensure that our soy protein is not genetically modified)."

From Jennifer at Field Roast -

"We are not certified by any body that we can make claims with. But we do not use GMOs by conscious decision of what we buy!"

Do these emails set your mind at ease?

Smell The Roses Documentary

2010-01-20T21:25:00.001-05:00

Smell The Roses from zack mctee on Vimeo.

I want to make sure I drum up as much interest as possible in my husband's worth while and entertaining adventure. So watch the teaser above. Go to his website. Read his blog. And follow him on twitter - @hroddd. He is anything but boring.

What's A Vegetarian/Vegan To Do?

2010-01-13T23:03:00.000-05:00

{Via}

I've read enough to know that Monsanto ranks in the top five most evil companies in history. For those who may not know they are a biotech corporation that makes herbicides - like the Roundup people use to kill weeds. The super heinous part is how they also own the genetically engineered seeds that are the only thing that can survive their chemicals. So they basically have strong armed the American farmers into only using their seeds; poisoned all of our food with their chemicals and...well just watch Food, Inc. It does a great job at explaining it.

So I was already really turned off GMOs (genetically modified organisms) when a friend of mine sent me this article from the Huffington Post about how Monsanto's GMO corn is damaging rat organs. Ugh. (double ugh for animal testing) I mean who ever thought that manipulating an organisms genes to gain fortune or fame would be a good idea? Hasn't anyone ever read a science fiction book? It never ends well.

Because of this culmination of information I've been ingesting as of late, I've been taking a closer look at my vegetarianism. In the fifteen years I've been off meat a lot has changed. Vegetarian options abound. Not only in grocery stores, but in restaurants and I'm not talking about a grilled veggie plate or a Caesar salad, hold the dressing. I'm talking about "meat alternatives."

There are so many faux meat options at Whole Foods these days it's hard for a girl to choose. Most of it is really good. But lately I've been wondering - what's it made of? The short answer is - soy.

And that brings me to this article by Jennifer Grayson where she informs that 91% of soy is GMO. Yes, 91%! That means all the tofu, the veggie burgers, the Facon (fake bacon) I consume is most likely from Monsanto GMO seed. I don't want to support that! Nor do I want to ingest it.

According to Grayson there isn't much we can do about supporting it. GMO cotton grown in the US is at 87%. And cotton is nearly everywhere. The answer is buy organic, of course. Buy organic cotton clothes where you can and buy food that is 100% organic.

Oh, what's that you say? It's not that easy to find things that say 100% organic on the package? Well you're right. In fact two very popular vegan meat options Field Roast and Gardein, don't say anything about using organic veggies or non-GMO grains in their products. (I emailed both of them and hope to share the responses soon.)

Morningstar Farms, a company owned by Kellogg - cereal giant, does have a line of organic soy products. They aren't vegan, however. I also found Soyboy - organic tofu and tempeh - that even sports a non-GMO logo. So that's good news. I can give up the fake meat, but tofu too? That would be unfair. Their website does not list a location for purchase, only a generic health food store near you, but I'll be keeping a lookout.

I am a little depressed and also angry about all this. My goal in abstaining from eating meat was to make my little mark against the way this country produces and process its meat. And it's clear the way it produces its crops is no better. I try to remember though, that being a conscious consumer is the only way things will change.

Adventures in Bus Riding

2009-12-16T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is a picture-less post, guess my words will have to paint it for you.

I took the bus home from work today. Sometimes I do this. It's common in most cities, but it's "weird" in LA. I just like not driving occasionally. Iron Butterfly's Inn-A-Gadda-Da-Vida happened to be playing over my head phones when a young guy took the seat next to me on a mostly empty bus. He pulled a bible from his backpack and began reading it.

He was clean and dressed like kids dress, with layered saggy pants, a too small t-shirts and a hoodie. It's dark out, so I can see in the reflection of the glass window I'm trying to gaze out of that he is nodding his head slightly, as if agreeing with someone who is speaking to him. The nod grows to a full on head bob and he begins gesturing with his hands as if he is now speaking to whoever was just talking to him. He glances up and down from his bible and gestures more broadly now, as if he is giving a sermon to the entire bus.

Los Angeles seems to be riddled with people with mental disabilities, it's sad and I feel bad for him, so I try to look harder out the window to not make him feel self conscious. AC/DC's If You Want Blood comes on and I drift off into thoughts about how awesome it would have been to see Bon Scott perform live and then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

The guy next to me is looking me straight in the eye, no sign of whatever form of crazy was tormenting him before. He asks me if I believe in Jesus Christ.

Without getting into my religious beliefs, I can say that I believe there was, at one point, a man named Jesus Christ who existed. So I say yes.

He goes on to tell me, at a very high speed, that the LA Christian churches are coming together this Christmas season to recruit people to spread the word of Jesus Christ. Would I please spread the word to 10 people before Christmas day? And at the end of his spiel he lets out a huge sigh and smashes his fingers into his eyes like he couldn't BE more relieved that it was over.

Then he looked up at me expectantly with huge eyes. Now, I don't have any clue what the 'word' even is and are there really 10 people that don't already know about Jesus Christ? I mean we're not talking about a local band here. I'm not even remotely pro trying to influence anyone's religious beliefs. But I looked at this kid, so hopefully and nervous and there was no way I could say that I wouldn't tell 10 people. Dashing his hopes and hard work would have been too heartbreaking. So I said yes, that I would tell 10 people. I lied to the nice religious kid at Christmas time. Yay me.

He gave me a big smile, said Merry Christmas, faced forward in his seat and immediately started to fist bump with, who I am assuming, was the person he was speaking to earlier. He was happy and I was happy I made him happy.

Then a large rent-a-cop who had been listening locked eyes with me, smiled and started shaking his head as if him and I were going to share a 'check out the crazy' moment. But he was in full view of the kid and so I scowled at him for trying to collapse my pretty house of cards.

About 15 minutes later the kid tapped me on the shoulder, asked if I "stay around here," which I really didn't know how to answer since we were on a moving bus. Turns out he didn't really care and moved on to his next question, which was if I have a cell phone number. So I guess that's what I get for lying.

Vintage Christmas

2009-12-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite ways to be a conscious consumer and ecological shopper is to buy vintage. I can't tell you how much I hate running into someone who has the exact same J. Crew top on. (Don't get me wrong, I love the Crew, but so do a lot of people and that's the problem.) Etsy.com has some of the best and most reasonably priced vintage collections. I came across a pearl of a vintage shop the other day and must share.

Good Vintage is just that - in fact I'd have named it Fantastic Vintage. These shoes are 8s so too big for me. But I can dream.

Isn't this just the prettiest little nightie? I would spend all summer in it.

I would love to add this to my dessert plate collection, but it would really go perfectly in my parent's 50's modern home.

This little condiment caddy would be so cute in the middle of my kitchen table.

All photos are curtesy of the Good Vintage Etsy site.

Foxen Winery

2009-11-24T21:57:00.001-05:00

{Pretty cows on the CA country side}

What is the perfect way to kick off Thanksgiving week? For me it was discovering the most awesome sustainable winery in Southern CA wine country. Foxen winery is my new favorite place...um, possibly ever.

{Barrels of sweet, sweet nectar}

When Hillary told me that the first interview they were doing for the documentary (up on the website as a teaser in a few weeks) was at a solar powered winery about 3 hours north of LA, it never even crossed my mind not to go. Wine. Enough said.

{The Gang at The Shack}

While Hillary and the boys got their shots, the lovely staff at "The Shack" (one of two tasting rooms at Foxen) and I bonded over some of their fantastic wine. I can't even say how much I enjoyed chatting with all of them. They know their wine, that's for sure, but are not at all snooty and I felt no pressure to swirl or aspirate. I just drank and loved it and that was cool with them.

Foxen is a sustainable winery, that became solar powered in August. I would call them minimalists, their entire facility is beautiful, but sparse. Excess and waste is not on their agenda and it shows in the best way. I am a red fan and love Cabernet's, but they have a Sauvignon Blanc that will knock your socks off. I loved everyone so much I had a hard time deciding what was coming home with us. But not that hard.

New Destructo Box

2009-11-17T22:22:00.000-05:00

What do zombies mean to me? More than you might think. I'm actually married to my husband because in our dating infancy our love for zombie movies (and our distaste for Woody Allen films - don't even try, I've heard all the arguments, you won't convince me) brought us closer. "They're coming to get you Barbara" and "BRAAAAAIIINS" became little inside jokes in our conversations. Our tastes vary a bit when it comes to our favorites, he's more of a classicist voting Night of the Living Dead, while I prefer the neo-zombieism that comes with super strength and speed, ala 28 Days Later.

No matter which camp your tastes fall in the latest cartoon from Destructo Box (the brain child of Phil McLaughlin and Joey Reinisch) is zombie-rrific. These two churn out hilarious cartoons a couple times a month that are sure to strike your oddly funny bone. Enjoy!

Hillary Rust: An Interview - Part 2

2009-11-16T22:28:00.000-05:00

{Hillary and his Trek}

Finally - Part 2 of my interview with Hillary Rust (yes, he's my husband) about the awesome enviro-cycling documentary he's making.

PM: You mention pace as the main reason for taking this trip on your bike. Are there other reasons?

HR: Yeah. If you did this trip by car it's too easy. It would take you 3 days and you might roll the windows down, but driving your car isn't really all that inspiring to people. Anyone can drive their car from here {Los Angles} to Austin. If you can grip the wheel and move your ankle a few inches up and down you're golden.

The schedule is slightly different but I'm essentially riding what they ride in the Tour de France and adding in interviews and content. I'll be going slower than them, of course, but it's going to be a challenge. 100 miles a day will kick your butt. Add in a few interviews both planned and unplanned and you've got yourself a good little mountain to climb.

Then there's the environmental aspect. We're gonna have a "chase" vehicle but hopefully it will be a hybrid and we'll do a comparison between me on the bike and the car. Obviously the car wins in some ways, but it also costs more to build and maintain and you lose out on "earning" it. If that makes sense.

PM: What type of physical or mental training are you doing to prepare yourself for such a long ride?

HR: I drink beer and stay drunk as much as possible so I don't have to think about it.

I ride everyday. I don't always ride that far but I know if I put in enough time on the bike I'll be okay. I should probably eat better and really focus on my diet but that's not really my style.

I've done tons of 80+ mile rides back to back, meaning like two or three or four days in a row. My muscles get sore or whatever but it's definitely doable.

One thing I'd really like to do soon is get with a cycling trainer and just do a quick interview on camera and find out what they think I should be doing. I think that would add a little to the doc.

{A waterless damn here in So-Cal}

PM: What has the process of breathing life into this project been like for you? Is there any part of creating and finding people who want to participate or sponsor the documentary that you didn't expect?

HR: I didn't expect so many people to be into it. I thought I was gonna have to do a lot of like, talking people into it. It hasn't been easy but everyone I talk to wants to see it happen.

I get up like 2 hours before I have to be at work and do research and send emails and just try to get as many eyes on the site as possible and think of every option for interviews and sponsors and the best way to approach each.

Then I go to work and try to focus on everything else that needs to get done and ideas come to me and then I get home and I find myself writing more emails in between loads of laundry and bites of dinner.

As far as the team all i can say is HOLY COW! I know I'm crazy and idealistic or whatever but these guys are awesome. Zack can make cooking dinner look fun and look good, Brent has been all over and shot in some crazy situations and is just a pro, and Emerson...I've worked with that fool enough to know he can get it done. We are all on the same page as far as how we want it to look and what it should be about and the best ways to accomplish all of that and it just makes me really happy to have them.

{Queen Mary in Long Beach}

PM: Finally, what is your best case scenario for the final outcome of the doc?

Best case is we get like 500 hours of footage and we can edit it down into either an hour and a half feature documentary or we can make it into like 4 parts that are half an hour each and that we can get enough interest behind to make like 10 more about the rest of the country and that we can all make a living doing it until it doesn't make sense to do it anymore.

I'd love to see it as a series on the travel channel or something.

None of us are greedy and we really just want to get to do something that we believe in and make it really really good and interesting but also helpful to lots of other people and maybe not go broke doing it.

Is that bad?

Seems fair to me! Check out the documentary website here and let Hillary know what you think. He feeds off of comments, so bring it.

Hillary Rust: An Interview - Part 1

2009-11-09T21:06:00.000-05:00

As many of you may know from my various social network announcements, my husband is making a documentary wherein he'll be riding his bicycle from Los Angeles, CA to Austin, TX. Along the way he plans to investigate and speak with people who are doing cool things to make this world a more sustainable, beautiful and generally healthier place for us all to live. You can read his entire proposal and watch some of Zack McTee's pretty camera work, of which I am a huge fan, here.

To get you excited about what H and his amazing team have come up with, I decided to ask him some questions. And boy did he answer, so much so, I split the interview into two parts. Here's what he has to say about his project...

Decker Canyon in LA - A photo from one of Hillary's many rides.

PM: Where did the idea for this documentary come from?

HR: Without going all the way back to my childhood memories, the doc as it is conceived today came up about a year ago. Zack Mctee and I went on a few bike rides and like everything else we do we ended up talking about shooting some video of it. Then we shot some video.

I've always wanted to ride cross country but it's a pretty selfish endeavor. So to actually get to do it I had to come up with a way to make it about more than just me and what I want to do, yet somehow make it stay within my ideals.

Hence, a documentary about me riding my bike talking to people about sustainability and reusing...okay let's be serious, it's mostly about me talking. I love to talk.

PM: You say in your proposal that you "want to meet America." What types of places do you plan on finding people to interview? Are you looking for a specific type of person?

HR: Well, we've got a map up on the website that gives a general idea of where we'll be but there's a guy named Greg Peterson (www.yourguidetogreen.com or www.permaculture.net) in Phoenix that has had an urban garden for like 15 years now that I want to talk to. Then there's the people at Earthship.org based out of New Mexico. There's Marfa, Texas which is just nutty and everyone should see it.

But really I want to meet regular people and talk to them about anything and everything. I want to know why someone chooses to live in desert of southern California for their whole life. Maybe they don't see it as a choice. Maybe it's all they know and they never thought about moving or living a different way. How do they get by? How do they get water?

Also, who makes composting toilets? Can I learn how to make soap out of avocados? Who's making music in El Paso? What is Bosque De Apache National Wildlife Refuge? You know? I want to see everything and meet everyone and know everything.

Some people are never going to get to go do this type of thing and I want them to be able to see it all too. I guess I want to inspire people to try to do something bigger and better and to think about the impact they have on the planet and the people around them. This country is so big it's easy to forget that we're all Americans even if we live in different states and have different needs, etc.

What do you got next?

Hillary is a fan of industrial objects.

PM: What cities are you most excited to stop in?

HR: Well, right now I'm day dreaming about the open road and just pedaling for hours on end. 70+ miles with no cities at all! That may sound weird but being trapped in Los Angeles makes riding a challenge. Don't get me wrong, I love getting to ride everyday but the traffic and the stoplights are just as annoying on a bike as they are in a car. You get a little more freedom...you asked about cities.

Phoenix seems overwhelming and I don't think we could ever do it justice with the time frame we have to work with but I'm still pumped on it since it seems like a city that size shouldn't exist, being that it's in a desert.

Tuscon is a complete mystery to me and I would love to see it. Santa Fe has gotten hyped to me in a big way and I've been there a few times and always had fun.

I'm interested in the El Paso music scene even though I literally just decided that El Paso would be our "music" stop. But after looking into it there is all sorts of amazing sonic stuff coming out of the EPT.

It helps that I have friends and family along the way in most of the cities that I want to see. Of course Austin will be cool especially if we can keep our schedule and end up there for SXSW.

PM: Do you have any planned interviews or tours at this point that we can look forward to discovering with you?

HR: Uhm, we're trying to set up an interview with Foxen Winery in Santa Maria, CA for later this month. They are apparently solar powered and organic which is basically what the doc is all about. So we're gonna film me riding up there and try to get them to talk to us about how they got into the whole thing...and maybe taste some wine.

We have the teaser video up on the site obviously, but we really want to have something to show to people so they can get an idea of the actual content we plan on having.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2. In the mean time check out Hillary's blog, Bike LAne or look at the photos he takes riding around LA.

Imagining Things That Already Exist

2009-10-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

As I am prone to do at least once a quarter, I'm currently grappling with my current role as a cog in the corporate wheel. It's really not something I ever planned on being. However, I've found over the years that to be happy I need things like insurance and a steady pay check. It's just the type of person I am. But and so, the Hubs and I are always discussing ideas and ways we can take the time we give to our employers back and make it ours again, putting it towards making the world a better place. Or whatever.

One thing Hillary wants is a warehouse that he can build, make and do in (his preference is to make it our abode, but we have differing views on that). Then we started thinking about making it some kind of community creative/creation space that we could rent out for events and we could have bands play and have locally sponsored coffee and I could open the record store I've always wanted (yes, I wanted one at 19 and I still do). This is where the conversation always goes south, because I start saying things like - I wonder what kind of insurance we'd need for that type of thing and would we need a liquor license for the parties and how would we keep the guests at the events from stealing all my vinyl merch? And all H wanted to do was dream up our Inspiration Station and here I go bringing reality all crashing down on his head. What can I say? It's what I do.

From an Anthropologie back a year or so ago...not sure of the date.

So last night he begged me to stop and to just sit for 10 minutes and think of exactly how I'd want our warehouse if we took money, location, and all rules and legalities out of the equation. So this is what I came up with:

It's an old red brick warehouse with 2 floors, and tons of long thin windows lining both sidewalls. The front double doors are over sized wooden antiques. They open up to the first floor which is mainly just open event space with polished concrete floors. The second floor doesn't start until about a quarter of the way into the building so there is a balcony that looks down to the entry way, which has approx 24 ft. ceilings.

To the left is my record store. (Name suggestions are welcome.) There are 4 big, thick boat anchor chains coming down from the high ceiling that suspend a series of old windows, still in their frames that make up the walls of the record store. The entire building is wired for sound. The first floor brick walls are lined with local art and in the back there's an industrial kitchen and storage space.

Perhaps something like this, only floating in mid air.

The second floor is all art space with big wooden planked, white washed floors. Tons of tables, big sinks, a dark room in the back corner, an antique printing press. The roof is entirely landscaped with trees and bushes and big patches of grass, specifically for laying on. In each corner there is a small garden - veggie/herb/tea/cutting for all to use.

So that's the place I created in my head and I really, really like it. So much that I want to make it happen in the town we will eventually end up. And so then today I just do a Google search because I wonder... and low and behold there is already something like this where we'll be someday. It doesn't seem QUITE as cool and it's much, much bigger than we were thinking, but it's the same general premise. And now I'm bummed.

Zack & Lauren's Trip Across the US

2009-10-14T23:39:00.000-04:00

Want to see something that would charm the grumpiest of the grumpy and pretty much put you in a good mood for the rest of the day? Well here you go.

Cross Country Road Trip from zack mctee on Vimeo.

You're welcome.

Blush Article

2009-10-14T21:29:00.000-04:00

Amazing earrings from Fahmina

As you all know I've been contributing to the fabulous eco blog Living Green with Glamour for a couple months now. I have been having a ton of fun writing about cosmetic goodness. This week I had the pleasure of spreading my wings a bit and was asked by the Blush blog to give my top eco-fashion picks for fall.

In the top 5 are the fantastic earrings above! I am in love with the sassy sexiness of them. Snag a pair at the GwG online boutique. Check out the article and see what other tasty treats I put on the list.

Eddie Still Inspires Me

2009-10-07T22:03:00.000-04:00

{Me in...let's say college and my Guild}

I've been feeling musically inspired lately. This comes in waves for me. Lately I've been wishing I had a piano around, but apartment living and frequent changes of scenery have put a hold on my dreams of becoming Regina Spektor any time soon.

My father, an amazingly talented guitar player himself, taught both my brother and I to play the basics. When I was in high school he bought me a small bodied Guild acoustic. For a second I was all - umm, dad, just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I need a small guitar. Oh that smell? Just my bra burning, no need to call the fire department. But then good ol'dad told me that Chrissie Hynde played this exact model. Chrissie Hynde, that goddess of rock and shaggy hair, a foul mouthed feminist who I still idolize. I've been in love with my Guild ever since.

Sadly she has never made it out to my LA home, for a various number of reasons (she spent some time in the git hospital, but is feeling much better now, thanks for asking). Luckily...or something... Hillary has a duct-taped, Takamine which is super hard to play because the action's too high and oh yeah, it's not my Guild, but she makes a tune come out and really that's all I need for now.

I am mediocre at best. I took some lessons in college but was really just paying to ogle at my super cute guitar teacher who I had SUCH a crush on. Our lessons went something like -

Cute Teach - Hey, Sara! Did you practice this week?
Me - No, but I think it would really help me learn that Ani DiFranco song if you could just play your guitar at me for the next 30 minutes while I sigh and stare into your huge brown eyes.

So I really never progressed very far and now just play for myself. When I'm home alone I like to try and figure out Kate Nash songs and sing them in a British accent. But who doesn't? I have about 5 songs in my arsenal that I can sing and play and I feel pretty good about. Maybe even play them in front of someone who isn't on the fence about being friends with me. I haven't added a new song to the collection in a long time.

But so then today I was in the car and that Pearl Jam song came on - Elderly Woman, Blah, Blah This Title Is Too Long. I used to LOVE Pearl Jam. Sophomore year of high school, when I was all flannels and combat boots I used to listen to Pearl Jam and act angsty. Good times. Obviously I know all the words and it just passes through my brain that I wonder if I could play this song on the guitar.

So I get home and look up the chords and I can totally play it. So now I have 6 songs and my neighbors can suck it because I'll probably be playing this for the rest of the week.

Hugs from the Left Coast

2009-10-02T23:32:00.000-04:00

Please enjoy this song by my extremely talented friend, Collin Magdziarz...

Isn't he awesome?! This little video is a promo for the Local Music Showcase in my town of origin, Hammond, IN. It is organized and sponsored by Thunderclap Recording, which is located on the lower level of the house I grew up in and if I'm not mistaken that is where the video above was recorded. Most likely by the multi-talented John Carpenter (no, this one does music, not movies...although he's starting with the movies) who is the head engineer and owner of Thunderclap. Many a night, as a child I fell asleep to the sounds of demo-making Eighties bands drifting up from the basement through my open bedroom window.

But back to Collin...he's amazing. He sang the recessional song at our wedding, which was Here Comes Your Man, by the Pixies and pretty much brought the house down. Also, he played acoustic guitar for a Lior song during the ceremony and literally learned to finger pick specifically for the occasion. It was flawless.

Obviously he's in a band. Nate & His Kite. I have their EP and it's in my car CD player pretty much all the time. I actually just realized that one of their songs is called Porcelain Curse - which maybe should be the theme song to this blog! Although my fav song is Sway, which is super catchy and pretty much any time I hear the word 'sway' I start singing the chorus in my head.

So if you're in the Northwest, IN area (that means you too Chicago) go check out the next Local Music Showcase at the Towle Theater. There is one coming up Oct. 9 and is full of awesome musicians, like another friend of mine, Marc Quagliara from Groovatron.

Here's Collin singing the Pixies song at our wedding. Featuring the lovely and talented Lucy McLaughlin on back up vocals and the guitar stylings of JD Dragus. You have to get through the clapping, Hillary and I were smooching.

Book - Skinny Bitch

2009-09-28T21:51:00.000-04:00

So I have had Skinny Bitch sitting on my shelf for the past year and a half, ever since my friend Wendy sent me her copy. I'd heard tons about it, I just had other books up first on the roster. I knew it was a book about being healthy and looking great, but wasn't a fad diet, which a detest. My friend Deana raves and credits it with her veganism. So my interest was definitely peaked. Finally, this weekend, I got around to reading it.

I have to admit, I spent the first couple of chapters thinking things like, why do these authors keep callling me a fat ass? I am in no way fat. I mean who couldn't stand to lose five pounds, but, really, stop with the name calling already. And then I wondered, when there was the pitch for a meat free diet, if maybe I wasn't their target audience. After all, I've been a vegetarian for the last 15 years. Perhaps this book is for people who spend their time gorging on Big Macs and need a good talking to.

But then I got to Chapter 5 - "The Dairy Disaster" - and I learned some things. Things that have penetrated my brain and changed they way I am currently thinking about the food I eat. I'm not declaring veganism at this very moment. I hate labels. Okay, who am I kidding? I love labels, but I'm just not making the leap all at once. I am sure as hell going to cut WAY back on my consumption of animal products. We'll see what follows. I mean, fifteen years ago I was just going to stop eating chicken because it looked exactly like the inside of a cat I saw dissected. And here I am, meat free since that little incident in college in a dark parking lot with an Arby's Roast-beef Sandwich.

Now I could tell you what I learned, but what was influential to me, might not be so to you. So I recommend reading the book. You may read it and think - Hm, that's interesting, but not enough for me to give up bacon or pizza and especially not bacon on pizza. And I think that's fine too. At least you'll be more educated about what you're putting in your body and can make choices you're comfortable with. I mean no one does a line of cocaine and thinks it's healthy for them, but at least you know what you're getting into.

One of many things this book does well is pack a ton of information in a compact, fun to read little package. It's actually pretty humorous when the harsh words the authors have are directed at evil corporations who are screwing us, instead of at you personally. It has a great set of resources in the back should you find yourself swayed.

In coincidental news my husband has declared vegetarianism. He's calling it a science experiment, I'm calling it VICTORY! Mwah-ha-haaa

Hugs from the Left Coast

2009-09-24T22:52:00.001-04:00

I have some seriously talented friends and/or family. So I'm starting a new blog series called "Hugs from the Left Coast," which showcases the awesome accomplishments of the people I know.

So my actor/comedian friend, Tim Baltz, has been doing a funny promotional series for the Big Ten network called Friday Night Tailgate. Him and his co-host Steve do pretty hilarious little snippets about Big Ten schools and their sports teams.

One of my favorites, posted above, showcases Tim's style of humor nicely and the centaur, unicorn bit made me laugh out loud (no text abbreviations on the Manifesta).

Check out more college humor about the University of Michigan, University of Wisconsin and Iowa State here.

Awesome job, Tim. Remember your friends when you hit the big time!

We've Got The Look!

2009-09-22T22:16:00.000-04:00

Has it really been a month since I last posted? Crap, another month of my youth down the drain. Can I even call it my youth any more, now that I'm 30? Oi, that's depressing, let's move on.

Porcelain Manifesta is all gussied up. Do you like it? I'd been wanting to take the blog out of blahsville for a while now, but didn't really know how to go about it. I have zero design skills (in cyberspace, at least) and don't own Photoshop to try and even attempt it. Did you know you can hire people to do it for you? I'm a huge fan of hiring people for things. The husband? Not so much. So I had thrown that idea out the window when we put ourselves on a budget at the beginning of this month. (It seemed like a married person thing to do.)

But THEN I came across a graphic designer on Etsy. Who knew? She was so great and the best part...so affordable! So if you want a face-lift for your Blogger hosted blog but don't kick enough design knowledge to DIY it, check out Wicked Sister Designs on Etsy.

Also the Manifesta now has a Facebook page. So become a fan and never miss it! Scroll down to the bottom of the blog for the little linky deal.

A Little Self Promotion Never Hurt

2009-08-23T16:34:00.000-04:00

I have some exciting news! The amazing Deana behind Green With Glamour and it's blog Living GwG has asked me to contribute a weekly blog article about fantastic beauty finds in the world of eco and sustainable products. I have always been of the mind that making the right choices in our daily lives means change, not sacrifice. So I'm very excited to be a participant in Deana's project. Read my first article here and sign up for the newsletter or become a fan of Green With Glamour on Facebook to be notified of future articles.

Elsewhere on the interwebs my amazing friend Darci featured our wedding on her equally amazing wedding blog - With This Ring. Check out her extremely flattering posts (in 2 parts) here and here.

And one last plug for the Hubs. Hillary's a huge bike enthusiast and has been writing about his riding adventures on his blog - Clog LA. Check it out and get a glimpse at the world through Hillary's eyes - scary!

A Rose By Any Other Name...

2009-08-23T16:27:00.000-04:00

Sara I. Jones vs. Sara Rust

I took my husband's last name. It wasn't a given, we had a discussion about it. Sara I. Jones, was my identity for 30 years. I always used the I because Sara Jones may just be the most common female name in the world, although I haven't checked. Also I is an unusual initial, so it made me stand out at bit. I like my husband's last name, Rust, but the sound of Sara Rust had too many "ra" sounds for me, initially. But Hillary kind of felt like if I was going to be so traditional as to get married in the first place I should take his name out right, dropping the Jones altogether. I am fickle with tradition. I like it when it suits me, but am ready to toss it aside when it doesn't. We let it marinate for a while and a few months before the wedding I could tell that this was something that was important to Hillary and so Sara Rust won fair and square over my contention with aesthetics.

I like my new name. It's still short and sweet, but Rust is much less common than Jones, although I do have to spell it or else people think I'm saying Russ or Rusk. Plus I like sharing a name with my husband, being married is fun. It's really the Mrs. that is slightly off putting. I'll take Ms. any day.

But then I was thinking about my writing career and I decided that aesthetics are important in a name. Hillary agreed. Having a name that's catchy and memorable is key and if it comes in triplicate, even better! So what would it be - S. I. Rust, S. J. Rust, S.I.J. Rust? Meh. I think I'll leave the initials out. In the end I ended up with the best of both worlds - Sara Rust for my private life and Sara Jones Rust for my public.

Bolt Action Thrill At The Hustler Free Speech Party

2009-07-31T17:42:00.000-04:00

{Photos by Ronnie Erwin}

DISCLAIMER: This blog entry is for mature audiences only and should not be read by A) any of my young cousins whose parents will yell at me at the Christmas party B) My Grandma C) Mom, you can read this, but just a heads up, this will be one of those times when you wonder where I got "that mouth." Dad, well, sorry you missed the party, man, you would have dug it. And for everyone else, this blog entry has a bunch of sex in it, but we're all adults here (I'm serious kids, get off the computer and go play outside) so it's fine.

I wouldn't call myself a fan of porn. I've seen my share. I mostly think it's silly, but it does not disgust or offend me. It's just that freakishly large clits, strap-ons and horrible plot lines don't really do it for me in the excitement arena. I prefer my own imagination if my husband isn't around, but that's just me. I do understand why people (mostly dudes, let's face it) like it and why escapism is such a huge industry. I'm also all about getting paid for what you're good at and if your real and true talent is taking it in the ass on camera, then sister (or brother), I think it's great that you can make a living that way. I'm not going to rush out and get the DVD, but I support your right to make that DVD.

So when I found out that my favorite, newly LA band, Bolt Action Thrill, was playing the Hustler FreedomFest, a benefit to support the adult entertainment industry's (and really all American's, because it's a slippery slope - no pun intended) right to the freedom of speech, I knew I had to be there.

Luke Powers {Photos by Ronnie Erwin}

Thanks to my good friend Mark, who serves as the band's defacto manager, I got to chill back stage with him and the guys. It's been fun getting to know the band, besides insanely amazing rockers they are all just awesome people. Young people, somewhere around 22, I believe. I have this vague inner struggle when I'm around them between the 20 year old partygirl-me of long ago, who would be crushing on all of them and the 40 year old mom-me of the future, who wants to make sure they are getting plenty of fruits and veggies with their whiskey.

Bassist Richard Erwin & Sunny Lane {Photos by Ronnie Erwin}

But despite their inexpirence, what became very clear to me as we were surrounded by porn stars pulling their tits out, posed girl on girl action for the cameras on the red carpet and a full and ready bar, is that these guys are serious about their shit. They drank, but not too much before the show, and they were chugging out of giant water jugs to stay hydrated. They passed on somking a J with a formerly famous telvision star so they could stay clear headed. They had plenty of fun posing for photos with a porn star or two, as they should have, they're rock stars. But when it was time to perform it was business and they were ready. They sounded amazing, burned the place to the ground and then got wasted. Well played, boys.

Another highlight of the evening, for me, was that 2 members of the band had their parent's there. Fuck yes! Support your kids! If they're up on stage whaling on the bass guitar while a porn star is rubbing her butt all over them, stand there and take pictures, scream and clap. That's your job.

One more thing I took away from the night, and I will try to stay off my soapbox, is that many female porn stars have bodies...they are curvy, with butts and hips and at least one of them had real breasts. I know because she was swinging them around on stage and I saw her naked twice in her dressing room, which had no door. This is a multi-billion dollar industry, spurred on by your average guy (and girl). My point is, maybe Hollywood and the fashion industry should take a page from their black sheep sibling. If we had more porn stars modeling for Calvin Klein maybe we wouldn't have so many young girls with body image issues. Just a thought.

Sadness

2009-07-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

Hillary and I had the saddest weekend. Our 11 year old cat, Tres, died on Saturday afternoon. He had a bout of bladder stones, which he was prone to, and went to the vet for a procedure he's had several times over his life. Things went well until they tried to bring him out of the anesthetic and he just couldn't wake back up. I was stunned, shocked and devastated. I never even gave a thought to the possibility that I might not carry him back out of that vet's office.

I rescued him from the pound when I was in college. He was the runt of the litter and abandon by his mother before he should have even been weened. He was flea ridden and full of worms. What can I say, I love an underdog. Maybe that was part of what made our bond so stong, he knew I took a chance on him. For all my love and care (not to mention money for all his treatments) I got to spend 11 years with the sweetest, most loveable cat I've ever met.

His level of affection was more on par with a Golden Retriever than a house cat. He always met me at the door when I'd come home from work and when I put my face close to his he would lick the tip of my nose every time. Sharing an affinity for sleep, many times on the weekend I'd wake early in the morning to him moving my hair with his paws so he could lay down next to me. And there we would lay, both of our heads on the pillow, backs pressed together until 10, 11, sometimes noon. I will miss those mornings and his raspy meow and his unwavering adoration.

I know there is an upside, he's no longer in pain and doesn't have to endure the medicine and the trips to the vet he was growing more and more intolerant of.

But I will miss my sweet, sweet boy.

Honeymooning - Part 1

2009-07-17T00:15:00.000-04:00

{The resort we stayed at on the North Rim of the GC, sat right on the edge.}

The Monday after the wedding H and I flew back to LA, took a day to unpack and repack, and hit the road for our honeymoon and our first vacation together that didn't involve visiting family and friends. Our plan was to drive the 10ish hours to the Grand Canyon, which we did, but it was more like 15 hours because Hillary likes to take the scenic routes. So, being me, I sat with my arms crossed, annoyed in the passenger seat because we weren't taking the direct route. But then I realized I was on vacation (not to mention my honeymoon) and I needed to not be a controlling B, and that's when the fun started for me, and probably Hillary too.

{Superimposed?}

The place we stayed at the Grand Canyon was awesome and we had our own little cabin, which wasn't quite as nice as our cabin at Jenny Lake, but it was very cool and kitschy. The photograph above is from the patio we had drinks on both nights we were there. Obviously, the view was breathtaking and the dirty martini's where to die, but they didn't have any blue cheese olives, which was a bummer.

The second day we took a little walk around the hotel. We really didn't even have to walk, views like the one above were everywhere. Hillary worked at this place 2 summers in college so he had a few things he wanted to show me. So we set off for a 'spot' he knew of. We followed a dirt trail from the hotel. Tourists swarmed around the two scenic spots right in front of the hotel, but as soon as we got five minutes away we stopped seeing anyone, which was nice, because tourists to the Grand Canyon are the same tourists that go to Vegas. So really, best to keep your distance.

{I took this photo, but I was having a heart attack - get away from that edge, you're not a Mountain Goat!}

Now, I know my husband (!) is a guy who likes to take the road less traveled, he marches to his own drummer and all those other cliches. But what I learned in the wilderness is that he literally blazes his own trail. Every time I turned my head to take in the view, he was off in the middle of the weeds or trying to climb up a boulder. It made me nervous. Hello - ticks! Bears! Rabid Elk? Okay, maybe not. But I'll stick to the trail, thanks. So when I saw him beckoning me, holding up a bunch of branches as if I was supposed to duck under them, I was like No Way! But he coaxed me off the path and we picked our way through brush and briar until we got to a group of boulders that hung out over the canyon, which Hillary immediately started to scale.

{Not the rocks H made me climb, but I'm no more comfortable on these, although I was trying, see?}

All I could see was his foot slipping and him plummeting to his death, leaving me a widow after only 4 days of marriage. When he noticed I wasn't following, he came back and dragged me up to the top of the rocks. As soon as I stopped hyperventilating I did enjoy it a bit, but was happy to see the trail. One of the reasons I married him, he challenges my neurosis.

Honeymooning - Part 2

2009-07-14T21:49:00.000-04:00

{Our cabin at Jenny Lake Lodge}

We spent the second half of our trip in Wyoming (I know you don't know what the first part was yet, but remember we're going backwards.) We stayed at a swank resort in Jackson the first night. Jackson is a cute little town, but full of tourists. So we did a quick tour of the main street and then hit the hot tub and pool back at the hotel, since our accommodations up until then had been much more rustic. We spent one cush night and then back into the wilderness we went.

{Our view from the cabin}

Although, I can't say our cabin at Jenny Lake Lodge was very rustic. But we were in the middle of Teton National Park with no television and, more importantly, no cell phone service. The cozy little room had everything you could ever need, however, including 2 wine glasses and an opener which were put into good use during several games of Scrabble that maybe didn't end very newly weddish. But we never stay mad for long.

{Downhill was the fun part}

Each cabin got two cruiser bikes to explore the park with. After we checked in we took a ride over to Jenny Lake to see what we could see. I was having a great time, until the second half of the ride was mostly up hill and we left the shady cool of the trees far behind us. I'm pretty sure near the end I got off my bike and said something like, "We're stranded with no food or water and I'm pretty sure there is a bear tracking us!" Then a motor home zoomed by and honked it's horn.

{I'm pretty sure it moved a little}

The second day we decided to take a walk around Jenny Lake. We came prepared this time and took water bottles and snacks, mostly nuts and chocolate. It was gorgeous and we had a great time, walking through the woods, brain storming on our future. It felt very honeymooney.

{Hidden Falls - worth the ankle turning}

We walked for a while, nothing strenuous, because Hillary and I had a talk about how I don't wear hiking boots and I don't find scraping my knee and walking through spider webs fun, so NO hiking. Then we see a trail head for Hidden Falls, and I was intrigued, even though Hillary said it'd be more like hiking. And it was. The trail was rocky and kinda slick and man, I can dance in a pair of 3 inch heels for hours on end, but put me in some sneakers on an inclining trail and I turn my ankle every five minutes. But I did it and it was awesome.

{Marmot, not a chipmunk - he kept his distance}

We even tried to keep going and make our way higher to Inspiration Point. We stopped about twenty minutes in because we found a nice flat rock for snack time. We were only sitting for a few minutes before some uppity chipmunk tried to jump into our bag of almonds, which I snatched away, appalled. He hung back, waiting for us to throw him something, but we weren't having it. Then his friend ran up and touched my leg with his tiny, greedy, chipmunk hands. As I screamed, painful sessions of rabies shots flashed across my mind and I was back down the mountain before you could say Teton.

Obviously This Sucked

2009-07-08T23:36:00.001-04:00

{Our new house - in my dreams}

The Manifesta is back! We're all married and honeymooned and I have a lot of stuff to catch up on so in the words of Huey Lewis - we're going back in time. I'll be starting with the 4th of July and taking you back over the next few...let's face it, probably weeks, until we get to the wedding and the awesomeness that surrounded it.

{The view from the party}

So we were lucky enough to hang with our Best of the West over the 4th at a friends extremely nice digs. We had a great time, with even better people and enjoyed all of the fireworks happening around the city from the deck.

{From Nearlyweds to Newlyweds}

Being that we know we won't be in LA forever, this was a great way to spend the holiday! If only every weekend would be similar...although I'd probably have to check into rehab pretty quick.

Memorial Day Recap

2009-05-25T14:11:00.000-04:00

{Not from this weekend, but it seems appropriately Memorial Dayish}

My long weekend was so filled with awesomeness, that to not share would just be cruel. My only regret is that I didn't bust out the camera even once to document.

Friday, Lauren and I ravaged H&M at the Beverly Center and came home with some tasty treats. I can't wait to take my new black organic cotton mini-dress out on the town (next Saturday perhaps, for my LA so-long-to-singledom celebration? We're going Hollywood style and will be gracing the Roosevelt with our prescence.)

Then Hillary and I went out to the valley to party with our favorite rockers, Bolt Action Thrill. I drank so much beer I was stumbling in my 3inch wedges. Thank goodness Hillary is the DD of my dreams.

Saturday night we celbrated Staley's 29th year at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary with a viewing of To Catch A Theif. Carey Grant and Grace Kelly in the South of France. Are you kidding me? How had I not seen this movie? Lauren and I drooled over Grant's outfits and I've decided to buy Hillary some ascots. Then Lauren and I drank too much wine (and whatever else) and got lost in the crowd on a wayward bathroom trip. We picked our way through, what seemed like, miles of people huddled together on blankets in the dark, trying not to step on ankles or block anyone's view of the movie. After too many "SIT DOWNS" were thrown our way we finally tumbled down on a patch of grass laughing so hard we could barely breathe. We found our group eventually after some nice people took pitty on us and shared their popcorn for a while.

Sunday was chill, as Sundays should be. Hillary and I saw Terminator Salvation, which is exactly what you want from those kind of movies, but left me annoyed that they didn't work harder with the lead Terminator to cover his British accent. Every time it popped though I hit Hillary on the arm to make sure he noticed why I would be bitching about the movie later.

And today I will pick up my wedding dress. (WHAT??? OMG!!) Then Zeppelin will be heard loudly coming from the turntable, as I get this apartment ready to have other people in it while we're on the honeymoon. 29 days and counting.

"Little Bribes" Music Video

2009-05-23T16:48:00.000-04:00

Death Cab for Cutie - Little Bribes from Ross Ching on Vimeo.

Mix Death Cab with some stop motion video and you get genius.

Fan made by Ross Ching.

I love.

Bolt Action Thrill

2009-05-14T20:46:00.001-04:00

Apparently, I fucked with the wedding gods by vowing to never be a stressed out/crazy bride. And then this happened. Needless to say, that vow is out the window and I've been on the verge of puking for the last three days. I have a few ways of decompressing when I need to, but neither yoga nor drinking a bottle of wine are really conducive to the commute home.

So I got in my car, rolled down the windows and put in the Bolt Action Thrill EP. I turned the volume up to the point just below where it starts to be painful. Now obviously, what comes next would be best carried out on an empty country road, like they have back home, and in a car that has more power than my little Toyota. But I turned onto Wilshire at Westwood and to my surprise it was pretty open for 5:00, rush hour, LA traffic.

The drummer, Richard Burkhardt, counted off the first beats of "Demons of Love," my favorite track (tied with "Late Night Broadway"), on a cow bell as the speedometer reached 50. Deep breaths. Luke Powers' screaming guitar riffs played as I rounded out 60 mph, my shoulders relaxing as the music began pushing the messy clump of problems out of my mind. At 75 mph the knot in my stomach began to disappear with Dustin Boeh's sexy lyrics and versatile voice. Red light at Beverly Glen.

I was able to get back up to 65 again before the speed trap in front of the 76 Station, just past the golf courses. That's just about where the EP ended, so I put it on repeat and the Louisville boys continued to sooth me with their throwback rock 'n roll. The guitars are dirty and so are the lyrics.

We've seen them live on a few occasions and it's always a great time. As musicians the guys run a tight ship and carry out an impressive live sound. As a band they suck you in with their charm, good looks and shear enjoyment of their craft. Their excitement is infectious.

In Beverly Hills an old lady in a straw visor started shaking her hips to the chorus of "Down N' Dirty," which made me laugh for blocks. A line from my other fav, "Late Night Broadway," goes "pretty little baby /give me what I need/ sex, rock n' roll and speed." Two outta three ain't bad for a Thursday's drive home. La Brea? Oh Shit! I missed my turn. What wedding disaster?

Get some Bolt Action Thrill for yourself at www.BoltActionThrill.com or get their EP, Four Lessons For Lucifer on iTunes.

If you're in Los Angeles, check them out on June 25th at the Cat Club or The Key Club on August 17th. You will not be disappointed.

Suggestions

2009-05-13T22:41:00.000-04:00

{via via}

I'm in love with this photo. Little People, Big Cats...TLC's should make this a spin off!

So I've been meaning to say for a while now that you should all be reading Cabins. The new-ish blog by Hogan McLaughlin. It's full of great music and his own art. Love it!

Also Hillary and I are on the brink of wedding disaster. Read my wedding blog for details. Maybe if everyone thinks really really hard, the place will come up with enough money. On three...one....two...three!

My First Memory

2009-05-05T22:49:00.000-04:00

I'm so honored to be featured on YourFirstMemory.com this week. I've blogged about this site before. It's the creation of the talented Zack McTee. Go here to watch other amazing little bites of life.

Neither Zack or I planned it, but my memory is perfect for mother's day. So this one's for you mom, you're irreplaceable (Aww.)

The other big news this week is Porcelain Manifesta is Twittering. I know I'm totally behind the curve, but if you're into the tweets, follow me at @pmanifesta

Food On Foot

2009-05-04T14:03:00.000-04:00

{Bags of donated clothes}

Every year my office organzies a volunteer day with an excellent Los Angeles organization called Food On Foot. So Hillary and I joined the great folks from my office yesterday afternoon to organize the clothing donations and pass out food to some of Los Angeles's homeless.

{Our team getting the clothes ready}

Food On Foot describes themselves as a non-profit "dedicated to providing the poor and homeless of Los Angeles with nutritious meals, clothing, and assistance in the transition to employment and life off the streets." The volunteer's brought in our own clothing donations and added them to the pile of bags from others. Then we started organzing the clothing into piles for men, women and children.

There was a lot of clothes this year and the gave the group lining up for food and clothes a great selection to choose from. After we organzied the clothing we all got into position behind a food station.

{Team Muffin, ready to pass out the goodness}

There were muffins, cookies, chicken, fruit, loaves of bread and many more choices for Los Angeles's hungry. Everyone was so polite and thankful to be getting the food. It is always such a great expirience to interact with these people. A wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

And Moving On...

2009-04-30T17:54:00.001-04:00

{Photo from my brunch themed Easter dinner I didn't have time to blog about}

Life has had me in a full nelson for the last little while and things have been getting swept to the wayside, that includes this blog. I'm sorry for that, but you know how it gets sometimes. It's been all good things, however, so nothing to complain about except too little time. It's really a shame I've never been into uppers. If I just slept less my house would be spinc-n-span, all of my work would be completed, you'd have tons of blog posts to read and cupcakes for everyone!

So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to get it together, get the photos off of my camera, collect my thoughts and form them into words. Then I'm going to write some posts about all the cool stuff that's been happening and we'll be fast friends again. It'll be like I never left...until, of course, I do again...but you'll forgive me because I'm getting married. (in 7 weeks!)

The Peeps WIll Get You

2009-04-12T13:41:00.000-04:00

{Moon County}

Happy Easter from Moon County! And moi, of course!

Catch Up

2009-03-29T15:01:00.000-04:00

I've been called to carry out my civic duty and serve on a jury. Without spilling all the deets, it's a criminal trial and it's a doozey. They've said it will last 13 biz days and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not longer because a) my work will kill me, we are so busy right now and b) I'm due back in Indiana for my bridal shower and b-ette party in about 2 weeks. But so, here are some things I meant to blog about, but was too drained from blancing the scales of justice all week:

Last week I had a day off and Hillary and I went to LACMA. Where we strolled around and looked at art all day. They have an impressive collection and we had a great time. I took the pic above of H and this...

{check out more New Math here - via}

...totally encapsulates the day.

Hillary was featured on my new favorite blog - Your First Memory. Check out his interview and see a picture of him as a baby here.

And my latest blog obesssion is The Bright Side Project! Check it out for the beautiful wares they feature and leave a comment with your answer to one of their thought provoking questions to win some of the designer's goods. Such fun to read the variety of answers they get.

And the most exciting news of the weekend is that our great friends Matt and Linz bought a house in Louisville this weekend! I can't wait to see it and stay with them in their new abode. Congrat's my lovlies!

We're In A Commercial

2009-03-20T13:16:00.000-04:00

G1 Spec - Omnipresent Light from Phil McLaughlin on Vimeo.

Did I mention Hillary and I are famous? Well that's cause we're not. But we helped my talented cousin Phil and his friend Aaron with a commercial they were making for contest. They could win a bunch of money so you should go here and vote for them. Because don't you think they totally deserve to win?

Finished - Part 1 of 3

2009-03-14T17:16:00.000-04:00

{Hillary took this through a screen window. I always listen to instrumental music while I write, music with words distracts me.}

There has been a lag in my blogging as of late, but I have a good excuse. I have hesitated to post this, or really even tell anyone, for reasons I'm not totally sure of...maybe I sort of feel like I'll jinx it. BUT...I have...finished...my...THESIS!!!!! Okay, well, so not exactly. But I've finished the final draft, I have the required amount of pages (final count of 162) and have mailed it off to my advisor to be proofed.

So what happens now, is she reads the whole thing makes suggestions and any grammatical corrections I may have missed (can't catch them all) and sends it back to me. I will correct and make some small changes then I send it off to be juried and it's pass/fail from there, but the latter is totally out of my mind. So the hardest part is behind me and now I just wait.

Interested in what else I've been up to? My friend Deana over at GWG sums up our Thursday evening filled with high fashion and brushes with celebrities!

Fav New Website - Your First Memory

2009-02-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

First Memories - David Kramer from zack mctee on Vimeo.

Your First Memory is an interesting new web project by Zack McTee. It's one of those simple, yet brilliant ideas that you wish you came up with yourself, or at least I do. But then again, I couldn't make the lovely, high quality visual snippets that Zack brings to the table.

Every week he features a new person talking about their first memory. The videos are short and very sweet. This project has endless possibilities and with Zack's fantastic camera work and easy way with people this has the potential to bring many weeks of entertainment.

So grab his feed or bookmark it. You won't want to miss the next memory.